Bleeding Bitter Blue
by TheAnimeHannah
Summary: Grimmjow Jeagerjacques - a gang member, driven by lust and void of all emotions waiting for life to begin again. Then there's Ichigo - broken and lost after he lost all his family, waiting for life to end. What will happen when the two meet in extreme circumstances? Will sparks fly or will blood be spilt? Rated M for swearing, gore and sexual content. . .
1. Prologue

**New story! This one was already written so this will be a regular update! Please review; I want to get more reads and reviews than my other story! Anyhoo – Enjoy!**

* * *

~Prologue~

* * *

It was a dark, cold night, with the stars up above clear from mist and clouds. Soft snowflakes began to fall from the dark pit up above cloaking the surrounding area in a pure white blanket - winter was approaching fast. No animals stirred in those hours of darkness leaving the air silent and the malice in the small house blatant.

The blunette looked out with his cyan coloured eyes and almost hissed at the frost that covered the window before smiling at how they too would melt. Blue should have been his favourite colour considering how much it had put him through the last couple of years; yet at this moment all he could think about was how the sky would soon be lit with raging reds and obliterating oranges. He considered blue a calm and submissive colour, not at all like the feelings that were coursing through his veins. But who was he one to complain now when it had landed him here.

Life had not always been kind to him or his mother for that fact. Trouble came looking for him like he was a magnet and it may have had something to do with his hair however that couldn't testify for his mothers troubles. Maybe they were just cursed or it was a messed up coincidence. Either way, it had destroyed their lives and tonight was the night where that all ended.

A muffled cry broke his running train of thoughts, making him spin on his heel, a feral grin spreading on his face. "Shut it, will ya?" he said, glaring down at the pathetic and bloodied man tied down on a chair.

His long red hair was fallen all around his face with bunches of it lying beside his feet on the blood tinged ground. It had once been the same colour as his hair but it had now turned a revolting brown showing just how long he had been subjected to torture. His lip had grown to twice the size, due to swelling, the same as his eyes, matching the purple hue that also covered patches of his body. He looked a mess. Seriously . . . how could he have let this man make his life a living hell if it were this easy to silence him!?

The man looked up at him, both anger and a begging look clouding his eyes wanting to make the boy vomit. For years that guy had looked down on him and his mother glancing at the same eyes that would stare back at him. It was so ironic now and he cackled at their reversed roles.

Harshly, he punched him in the gut, making him double over, blood spurting in between the gaps in the rags that kept his mouth firmly shut. The anger evaporated instantly as he continued to look up at him this time tears leaking out, making his face snotty and ridiculous. Normally he would think how the hell can someone just make someone else's life a misery but now that he looked down he found this kind of fun. Maybe he could start some sort of group and make this thing a living? "Ya know," he started, swinging a lighter between his fingers. "Ya'd look wonderful on a bonfire. . . Ya red hair will blend in nicely with the flames,"

The man's eyes widened until his pupils were pinpricks whilst he tried unsuccessfully to back away. The blunette moved closer, his face now inches away from the others before cackling loudly; the animalistic sound bouncing off the walls making the other wince. It was the only sound in the room apart from the scraping of legs as the man tried to put as much distance between himself and the insane boy in front of him. "Blend in," he repeated almost as if it were an order. "No-one will see you,"

The man tried shuffling his chair back, screaming through the rags as he did so, as the small boy started pouring oily liquid on and around the chair. The smell was enough to make the boy gag but he was too caught up setting everything out – he wanted this to be perfect. It was like a ballet and therefore everything needed to be executed perfectly. After years of being tortured now he got to return the favour and even more. It was a pity he couldn't continue for years on end just like the pathetic man beneath him did – he didn't have the time or patience for it unfortunately. He reached over and yanked out the rag that had kept him mildly quiet and threw it to the side. He wanted to hear the man scream when the flames consumed him. "What are you doing?" the man asked, his voice ragged and shaky.

It was amazing what a little beating could do to someone's ego. If only the boy had thought of it sooner, it would have saved him and his mother a lot of trouble. The blunette bent down and lit a candle placing it near the foot of the front door. "Lighting your funeral candle," he stated simply, his lips curling up.

"Y-you're joking – Come on! Stop playing around!" the redhead screamed hysterically, fighting against his bonds making his wrists even bloodier than before.

"I'll let you go on one condition – say my name,"

"Wh-what!? Is that it?" he sneered slightly, his hopes being lifted now that he had a chance of freedom.

The small boy shrugged and turned around, folding his arms over his chest waiting for the man to speak his name. _This should be interesting! _"It's -,"

He watched in amusement as the man's face fell, desperately trying to recall his bastard step-sons name. He mentally went through the alphabet trying to give him some clue to what the name started with but none sprang to mind. "I think that speaks for itself," he stated calmly, pushing the candle down with the tip of his blood-stained sneakers.

He didn't listen to the man's screams and cries as he stood up, pushing the lighter in his back pocket. He didn't really care. The only thing he did say was 'sayonara' as he gave him one last smile and closed the door firmly shut behind him, allowing the warm fire to burn behind him. He knew there would be shit to face when he got back. There would be endless days of police cordoning off the house. He would have to go to days of trials with his mother who would try and hide her glee at the situation. He would have to attend a funeral. Even the thought made his insides curl but there was no point in ending his life to be free if he just got transferred to a barren cage. The last thought before leaving was how now he could finally live freely – but even he knew from the eyes following him that that would be impossible. . . _Fuck it all. _


	2. Wishful Thinking

**Thank you for all the reads so far – I am so glad you all like it. I would like it even more if you reviewed ;) Please :'( xx**

* * *

~Chapter 1 - Wishful thinking~

* * *

"Grimmjow," a monotone voice called out, breaking through the barrier of sleep that had kept the man at bay for a while.

A sigh of frustration left Grimmjow Jeagerjacques mouth and he opened his eyes, to let small lines form above his brow. It was the middle of summer meaning in this tight spaced building he was boiling and it was a surprise that he had slept at all. At first all he could see was the damp ceiling and wondered if the voice he heard was just a dream even if it were familiar. But he had stopped dreaming years ago so he turned his head only to come into contact with bright green eyes staring back at him. "Grimmjow," he said again.

Grimmjow glared at the emo and swung his leg lazily at his head aiming to at least stun the man as punishment for waking him up. The man, however, dodged easily and if he ever showed emotions he would have cracked a smug grin. "Damn you, Ulquiorra," he spat, but it was lackadaisical.

Grimmjow hauled himself up and ran a hand through his strange, vibrant coloured locks. His eyes were still blurry from the lack of sleep and sudden intake of light but he opened them wide nonetheless, ready and alert. "What do ya want?" he said gruffly resisting the urge to yawn.

"It is my shift. You are free to return home for a few nights," he said.

Ulquiorra, despite his lack of personality, was one of Grimmjows best, if not only, friend so most of the time when he meant his shift was over it meant "I managed to swap your roles so be thankful". Grimmjow gave a small huff in reply – his way of an apology - and stretched like a cat before pouncing up off the sofa, making sure to knock the emo's shoulder as he did before a cold voice stopped him in his tracks. (And colder than the one Ulquiorra normally spoke with) "Grimmjow. . .Leaving so soon?"

Slowly, the tall man turned around, his lips trying not to deepen into a scowl. "My shift's over," he explained, rubbing his head knowing that one wrong word and he would be back to staying cooped up in here.

He was like a wild cat in many ways and one of his traits therefore meant that he did not like being kept caged! "I'm off," he continued not adding the 'home' bit as he changed house every-time his shift was over – something about security shit.

Maybe that's what happens when you involve yourself with a top notch gang. Not that he was complaining – it was something that he could use his violence for.

After leaving school he had been recruited by a gang who enjoyed his bloodlust and had put him to use. The Espada gang were the best for miles and the most brutal. He got money and they got reputation and fear amongst all the other top gangs; that was when Ginjou Kugo was the boss and Grimmjow still had some feelings. In fact, when Kugo was in charge he was sure he was close to an outbreak of emotions. Then the posh snob Aizen came.

Since Aizen appeared he had been in fewer fights and although he should have been happy that his pay was getting higher, he had not felt anything. Not even hatred towards the guy who dressed like an arrogant arse and looked down on them like they were all a piece of shit – He just didn't care anymore. Even his suspicions of the guy had dwindled over time.

Aizen nodded and turned to the creepy, grinning bastard that was always behind him. Gin stepped out of the shadows and handed Grimmjow a piece of paper, a large amount of money written on it and an address. "What's this?" he asked, looking down at the address that was miles away from their headquarters.

Gin just smiled but it was Aizen who answered. "It's your monthly amount - the address is different as always but this time it's closer to the merchant,"

Grimmjow grunted in response and turned on his heel, leaving the room quickly not bothering to ask why or at the very least say thank you. He hated that blonde merchant but at least he was closer to the goods and further away from this dump. Maybe this time he could get away with staying out of the job or longer – after all, they didn't really need him anymore and vice versa! He heard distant voices behind him, no doubt mouthing him off, but right now he couldn't take anymore shit today. All he wanted was a nice hot shower and a place to lay his head down. _Ha – wishful thinking!_

**_xxx_**

Grimmjow looked down at the scrap of paper and crumpled it in his fist. The damn address given wasn't anywhere to be found and to make matters worse he was lost in the middle of a cold, frosty and dark night even though it was suppose to be the middle of fucking summer. _Stupid screwed up weather!_ There were no street lights down this particular road that he had stumbled upon but the moon was out and shining illuminating his path. Not that he cared. His heart had grown so cold that he no longer felt the need to notice such tiny, insignificant details. Normally he would turn to bloodlust to deal with this but even that had faded into just an obligation when it came to it.

Quickly, yet somehow lazily, he turned into a small alleyway, his blue hair falling in strands over his face as he lowered his head, letting the cool breeze whip around his neck. It was times like these that he felt some emotion – when he was on his own. Working under Aizen quite often stressed him out but at least the old man gave them lots of free time. Free time was the only time Grimmjow had to stop, think and process any trace of emotions that were still harboured deep within his soul. But even as he stood and tried to find that one trace, he knew it was hopeless.

When had he come to such a state? It wasn't when that red-haired bastard finally died because that was the reason he felt blood-lust. It may have been when his mother died but when he thought about it, it was still a year or two before then. He slumped against the brick wall, its tiny stones scraping against his back, and hung his head. The most feared guy in Karakura was turning into an oversized vegetable. "Hey! Look what we got ourselves here!" a loud and obnoxious voice shouted echoing off the walls.

Grimmjow turned his head and sighed at the few men now gathering around him, obviously looking for a fight. _Just what I need. . ._ "Fresh meat! Sup tough guy!" the larger of the men asked, his grin showing his two golden teeth.

He was the size of a pig, maybe bigger, and was wearing a baggy vest that looked as if it was covered in grease. The grease definitely wasn't that of a car because that would mean he actually got off his lazy ass and worked! No, this was the grease of fatty food which would of course testify for his ridiculous size. The other two that stood behind him were both extremely thin but very small – the total opposite of the other. Maybe they were so thin because the other kept stealing their food. Grimmjow almost snorted at the idea and glanced back at them. They all looked like a bunch of kids trying to act cool – but failing spectacularly. "Hey! He asked you a question," the thinner of the two stated.

"And I decided not to reply," he answered making the man twitch in irritation.

He stepped forward as if meaning to hurt him but the pig held him back before glancing at him with his sluggish eyes, clearly thinking he could handle the situation. _God, if I gave a fuck they'd be laying in a pool of their own blood by now. _ "Ya wanna fight!?"

Grimmjow gave a sharp yet emotionless laugh. "Please, if it were a fight ya wouldn't even leave a mark on me - What ya're about to do is just a beating,"

The pigs grin faltered for a moment but was soon replaced with a large smile when realising that the funny blue-haired bastard had basically just given him permission to beat the crap out of him. Not that they would have bothered getting permission anyway. "Well then, a beating you will get," he grinned.

Grimmjow watched as they all pulled out weapons of some sort although in his opinion they weren't really weapons as they pulled out knuckle dusters and baseball bats. Evidently they had only their pocket money from their mum's they still lived with to buy these 'weapons'. "Ya call those pathetic things weapons!?" he laughed, trying to gauge a negative reaction wanting to get this done sooner rather than later (yes, he liked torture but you can't exactly say the same when you're the one on the receiving end, can you?)

It worked as the pig stepped forward punching him squarely in the jaw. It didn't hurt him but it would sure leave a nasty mark. First his emotions then his bloodlust and now his image was going downhill. What had the world come to?

The pig smiled and licked the small droplets of blood that had fallen on his small knuckle duster. "What was that bout not being able to leave a mark on ya?"

"I said if ya fought me – Ya deaf or what!?" he challenged wanting all three guys to come at him.

They all stood around clenching their teeth, waiting for their leader to speak. Finally after a few tense moments Grimmjow smiled in relief as he heard the words he had been waiting for to put him out of his misery. "Get 'im,"


	3. Encounters

**Wow! So happy so many of you guys like this! (But please review some more!) Here you go - A little earlier than usual 3 **

* * *

~Chapter 2 – Encounters~

* * *

"Ichigo, you fool!" came a high- pitched and irritated voice.

Kurosaki Ichigo sighed as he held the phone away from his ear waiting for his friend, Rukia, to stop her mindless - and rather loud - ramble. _Trust her to over exaggerate everything _he thought holding his bleeding ear. After a minute he replaced the small phone to his ear willing that she would let him finish his explanation. "I'm sorry Rukia, but I just don't feel like it,"

_Brilliant excuse, _he cursed mentally wishing he could have at least pulled the sick card out! That always seemed to work (although that's because no-one would want to hang out with a person who could puke any second!) "What do you mean you don't feel like it!?"

"Rukia, I've been trying now for 2 years. . . Maybe I should just give up," he stated honestly.

This earned him another ramble as his friend tried to explain to him the merits of being gay. "You just need to find the right guy – I refuse to believe you are the only gay person in Karakura! Just do some stuff that will attract attention like . . . get your sergeant out!"

"Rukia, I am not getting my below part out," he explained calmly, holding back his annoyance.

"Why not? I thought you said it was something to be proud off? Don't tell me you lied!"

"Seriously!"

"What? Could it be that in the beginning you were trying to impress me?"

Ichigo exhaled in frustration for the hundredth time and let his finger hover over the end call button. "Rukia, I have to go – I need to get some work done,"

"Oh stuff Uni, you need to find a man! This is-!"

Ichigo pressed the button instantly quietening the cold air around him and breathed a sigh of relief. Rukia had been his good friend since he was 15 and his first impression was that she was a snob. Although that, however, probably came from her brother who he had seen a few times and would hopefully never see again. In reality she was much different to her brother but that difference unfortunately came in the form of 'fan-girl' and 'pervert'- Something she would not yet admit to. Sometimes he wondered how the hell he and Rukia had become friends!

Ichigo continued walking down the dark road thankful that he had brought a scarf with him on this cold night and wrapped his arms around himself trying to warm himself up. It would just be his luck if it rained right now and he really hated rain. Rain always brought up bad memories of the past. Maybe one day something good would happen but he had a feeling that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Ichigo was cut off from his melancholy state when he heard what sounded like a guttural groan and frowned in the general direction of where it had come from. There were not any lights so luckily the three guys that were facing him didn't notice his presence, although from what they were doing they probably wouldn't have noticed all the same.

The three of them, despite their shaggy and weak appearances, were beating the crap out of some guy who was slumped against the brick wall. However, in his opinion, they might as well have been hitting a corpse!

Ichigo clamped a hand over his mouth to stop the gasp coming out his throat when he saw the dark sludge that lay on the ground around him. He glanced again at the men kicking and punching quickly evaluating their strength and speed. He had no idea what he was going to do but still decided that he was going to help. Feeling satisfied that they couldn't take him on, he plunged into the scene like an idiot he was not giving a second thought to why he was doing this.

At first they didn't notice Ichigo running towards them and continued to punch the man in the stomach making him groan in pain. He spat a mouthful of blood making the others angry at his cocky attitude but before they could deliver another blow, Ichigo struck hard and fast into the fattest guy's private area making him collapse to the floor cradling his delicates. The others looked shocked at the man, who was no doubt their leader, and tried helping him up.

Ichigo took this as a chance and turned towards the man who was slumped against the wall and stopped dead. His hair, which was blue, was dishevelled and strewn across his face whilst his eyes were widened; surprised that someone had dared to help him. For a minute the whole world seemed to stop as the pair stared into each-other's eyes, locking gazes. Ichigo found himself lost in the man's azure eyes but shook his head regaining his composure when he heard the guys to the side getting up. Ichigo grabbed his calloused hand taking care not to grip too tightly (and trying to avoid getting caught up in his azure eyes again) before mouthing 'run'.

He didn't really give the man much time to oblige as he quickly sprinted out of the alleyway; angry voices shouted after him as he did so dragging the man behind him. Despite his injures the man caught up to his pace and began running alongside him, hands still intertwined. Occasionally, he winced but otherwise continued as if nothing happened.

Ichigo turned sharply pulling the man along with him and halted when they reached his house making his heart leap. God, he really hoped they weren't running as fast as he was. Quickly, he fumbled for the keys and opened the door making sure to close it firmly behind him, his heart hammering against his ribcage at his act of heroism.

Ichigo leaned heavily on the wooden frame and let out a long, shaky breath before becoming conscious of the fact that he had just dragged a stranger into his house with no second thought.

Pushing that aside he looked at the man and reached over trying to pinpoint his injuries (an instinctual move) when a hand swatted him away. "Whatcha think ya doing!?" he growled, wincing at his torn lip.

A little shocked by his attitude, he continued speaking pretending that it didn't faze him. Then again the guy had blue hair so what was he expecting. "I'm checking your injuries – Don't worry I study medicine so I know what I'm doing," Ichigo said still looking at the nasty cut that ran across his right cheek.

That perfect face was going to need stitches. Ichigo took the strangers hand again on impulse and led him into the living room setting him down on the couch. "I'll be right back,"

Ichigo left leaving the blue-haired man staring after him as he went to retrieve the medical kit. When he finally got to the kit all he could do was slump against the wall, his head in his hands as he recalled the last few minutes.

_Why? _he thought to himself. So far he had convinced himself that it was the spur of the moment and anyway, he wasn't someone who would walk past an incident like that. But if he hadn't have seen that bright blue hair and those piercing azure eyes then he probably would have continued fighting and left the man to his self suggesting he should go to the hospital and police before walking away. But it was because of those features that his eyes laid upon that he decided to distract the thugs before dragging the stranger out by the _hand! _Never once in his life had he held another man's hand!

Ichigo rubbed a hand over his face as if it were possible to erase his blush before picking up the kit and walking back into the room. "Took ya long enough," the blunette said yawning upon seeing the man return.

Ichigo rolled his eyes as a reply and sat himself in front of him tending to his injuries immediately starting with the cut across his cheek. "My name's Ichigo by the way," he said, trying not to blush as he did.

The man flinched as he wiped the wound clean before answering back. "Grimmjow,"

Ichigo tried not to stare into his eyes as silence settled across them for a few minutes, an occasional wince as Ichigo pulled the needle back and forth. He could feel the warmth rising up his neck but he refused to give in and look up into those hypnotic eyes. They were calling to him but just as he was about to glance up he realised he had finished the wound and drew back. "Done," he stated discarding the bloodied paper towels.

Grimmjow reached up and gingerly touched the plaster that now covered the cut and pouted. "'Tsk' I can't believe I needed stitches," he growled.

Ichigo almost scowled at him for his attitude but settled for glaring. He couldn't stay mad for long especially when the man decided to pout so cutely. "Well that tends to happen when you let people beat the crap out of you," he murmured moving on to examine the rest of his body.

"Who said I let them!" he argued back.

"Come on!" Ichigo said pulling back just to glare right at him. "A guy like you? – Don't tell me you decided to block with your face!"

Grimmjow smirked and leant forward making Ichigo flush faintly as his chest stood on show right in front of him. _When did he unbutton his shirt!?_ "A guy like me? What's that's s'ppose to mean, Strawberry?"

"Well I meant th- Wait! Strawberry!?" he exclaimed reeling back at the ridiculous nickname.

Grimmjow retreated back and grinned broadly at the orange-haired boy's flustered state. "Well yeah. Your name means strawberry right? Plus with the shade you're going ya might as well be one,"

Ichigo brought an arm to cover his face but Grimmjow was already throwing his head back in laughter. "Jerk," he muttered wondering why he felt like he didn't mind this man at all even though he should be finding him infuriating.

Grimmjow shrugged his shoulders at the half-hearted name and lay down on the couch as if he owned the place earning him a scowl from Ichigo. Although, just maybe inside he was secretly liking it? "You don't have anywhere urgent to be, do you?" Ichigo asked.

Grimmjow stared at him with confusion making Ichigo groan. "I'd like you to stay here for a few days if that's alright. I want to make sure you haven't broken or punctured anything," he clarified knowing that if he didn't keep him here, then his suggestion to go to a hospital would pass straight through that head of his – He was like Ichigo; he wouldn't harm his pride.

He was a stubborn bastard. Again Grimmjow shrugged and threw his head down on the sofa, his eyes closing softly. "Fine with me," he yawned.

"Okay. I'll go grab the futon," he said making a move for the closet when suddenly arms wrapped around his waist.

This guy was extremely bold and Ichigo wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Maybe the guys back in the alley way had knocked the sense out of him and now he was acting like a buffoon. _A cuddly, hot buffoon but, eh, details. _

"I don't mind sleeping in bed with you," he whispered huskily a feral grin plastered on his face.

Ichigo rushed out of his arms making sure to hide his tomato coloured face. "B-bastard! Did you hit your head?"

Grimmjow chuckled as the strawberry went off to sort out the bedding; his cheeks stained a bright crimson. He had that affect on people.

Grimmjow looked up at the ceiling and frowned at the emotions running through him but passed it off as a side effect from being beaten the crap out off. Still the last thing he thought of before slipping into a deep sleep was the fun he was going to have with Ichigo resulting in him sleeping with a huge grin on his face.

* * *

**Please, please review 3**


	4. Closer

**First off, hope Ichigo had a happy birthday (and technically Shiro as well) ! Secondly, thank you for all the reads and please keep reviewing! **

**Just thought I should mention that all characters belong to Tite Kubo. I mean seriously, if I owned them Grimmjow would be back quicker than a flash! Anyhoo, Enjoy!**

* * *

~Chapter 3 – Closer~

* * *

It was the annoying loud bang that woke Grimmjow up the following morning – that and the bruises he had just gained from falling off the bed. Even when he was drunk he didn't manage to fall off the bed! Growling to himself, he opened his eyes to see how the hell he had fallen off his bed when he realised he was actually asleep on a small sofa in someone else's house. _Ah yeah. _

Grimmjow 'tsked' in frustration as he remembered the past night – although it had been his fault for letting them attack him despite how low he may had been feeling about himself. However when he thought about it, he got to meet someone interesting as a result.

Grimmjow looked down at the thin blanket that had fallen down with him and sighed; he had fallen asleep in the wrong place. He vaguely remembered being told to sleep on the futon but then he must have fallen asleep – _Did Ichigo give this to me? _Just as the thought ran across his mind he spotted a bundle of orange hair jump into his eyesight. Grimmjow smiled at the strawberry and looked back at the blanket. _Yep_. _What a soft-hearted git_. Normally, the blunette would laugh at sappy little shits but for some reason the small gesture warmed his heart a little.

Slowly and quietly, Grimmjow got up and tip-toed over to the berry, blanket tightly held in his hand. Looking down at him, he looked so peaceful that Grimmjow almost didn't want to wake him and was tempted to snuggle up with the boy – but where would be the fun in that?

With a mean smile on his face he threw the blanket over the berry's unsuspecting face cutting off his airway making him wake up coughing and spluttering. It took the orange-haired boy several seconds blindly searching for the exit making Grimmjow roll on the floor laughing, a manic grin plastered on his face. When Ichigo finally found a way out of the woolly underworld he glared at the blunette who had now regained his composure. "That was not funny," he said, picking up a piece of stray wool and throwing the blanket back at Grimmjow.

Grimmjow simply shrugged, dropped the blanket and strolled over to the kitchen already bored. "Ya got anything to eat?" he asked, searching through drawers and cupboards.

Ichigo, still annoyed at his little prank, yanked himself up, yawning as he did so and walked over to Grimmjow. "Feeling better are we?" he said passing the blunette a bowl and spoon.

Grimmjow took the bowl and sat down at the table opposite the kitchen and shrugged again (he seemed to do that a lot) "I never felt ill ya know," he said, starting to pour out the cereals Ichigo had just handed him. "I was just beaten up – and even then you didn't have to come and stop it,"

"You could have gotten a lot worse than a few cuts," Ichigo said blushing faintly for some ungodly reason.

"Ya mean like a punctured lung," he smirked, fully knowing that he hadn't.

"You still could have punctured something!" he argued hoping that he wouldn't catch on to something.

His attitude was a little egotistical and it seemed as if he thought he was the dominant of the two but he looked breath-taking even if he did have blue hair. But Ichigo couldn't really complain what with his hair being so bright. It was true he could have punctured something or broken a rib but what he hadn't told Grimmjow was that with his experience he didn't need to wait a few days. God, he was such a coward. He was acting like a bloody stalker! "Of course," he said waving him off, stuffing a spoonful of bran flakes into his mouth before pulling a face. "Don't you have anything sweeter?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and sat down opposite him with his own breakfast. "I do but that's the last thing you need,"

"Wrong. I need sugar to help me heal,"

"...Your logic is seriously flawed,"

"Shut up," he said finishing that particular conversation.

For a few minutes they sat there in silence listening to one another eating and slurping their breakfast but as Grimmjow noticed it wasn't an awkward silence. Well to him it wasn't. But as he looked over at the person opposite him he realised his tanned cheeks were a faint shade of pink making him chuckle. Every so often his brown eyes would dart up to sneak a peek at him only making his blush deepen when he realised he had been caught. "How old are you?" he suddenly asked causing the other to spurt milk out.

"Wh-what!?"

"Well, I can't decide what age to give ya. You kinda look like a kid but then your parents aren't here," he said smirking hoping for a good reaction to the kid part but all he got was something he didn't expect at all.

Grimmjow watched as his blush went from red to nothing at all, making his face as white as a sheet. He lowered his head as if fascinated with the content of his bowl but not before Grimmjow could see the water start to form in his eyes.

"I'm 21," he said avoiding the whole parent-child issue.

"Oh," he said.

He wanted to come out with a snide remark about his parents but he had a feeling that wasn't such a good idea so continued to eat his breakfast in silence until a knock came at the door. Suddenly Ichigo's haunted look was gone to be replaced with one of shock and embarrassment. "What?" he asked the strawberry.

Ichigo got up and made his way to the door and peaked through the small hole before quietly locking the door. "Oi! Answer me!" the blunette yelled, hating that he was being ignored – that was one of the biggest stabs to his ego.

In a blur Ichigo had rushed to the blunette and covered his mouth with his hand, his other motioning for him to be quiet. Grimmjow growled impatiently but remained obedient while someone continued knocking on the door. "Ichigo, baka! I know you're in there,"

Ichigo gulped and secretly hoped she hadn't brought her spare key; he couldn't deal with her at the moment. How would he explain the blue-haired man staying at his house? He could tell the truth but it would either be met by a glare or a giggle. Grimmjow, annoyed with a hand covering his airway, licked it making Ichigo squeal and fall back dragging Grimmjow down with him. "Ichigo!" the voice shouted, worry and urgency in her voice.

Ichigo groaned as he heard the clatter of keys and wished he hadn't have given her the spare key. Then again he never thought _this _would be happening. Ichigo looked up at the heavy bundle on top of him and blushed at the face grinning down on him, arms either side of his head restricting movement to look away. "Frisky, are we?"

Ichigo jumped up, shoving the blunette of him putting a hand to his glowing cheeks. "You licked my hand!"

"No shit Sherlock," he laughed running a hand through his blue locks.

"Wh-!"  
"Ichigo?"

Ichigo did a mental face palm as he saw Rukia's expression to the two lying on the floor. _Typical how she walks in at the wrong moment! _"I-It's not what you think!"

Rukia smiled, a twinkle in her eye. "You mean you couldn't come and find a guy at the party because you already found one," she said crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot pretending to be angry.

"Yes. I mean no, no!"

Rukia laughed and slapped Ichigo on the back. "You should have told me sooner," she said. "Although I am disappointed that I didn't see how it happened," she pouted.

Ichigo tried very hard not to slap her where he stood but only because he considered himself a gentleman and they did not hit girls! Also, she was the kind who would break down, tell her brother and then he would have to deal with him which basically meant he would end up dead.

"It wasn't like that Rukia," he said, a warning in his voice, really wishing he could hit her. "He was getting beaten up and I just helped,"

"So you were his knight in shining armour," she snickered.

"I give up," he said throwing his hands up in exhaustion.

Grimmjow chuckled and hauled himself up wincing slightly. Ichigo rushed over to him, starting to pinpoint where the ache was when he realised the look in Grimmjow's eyes and Rukia's giggles. "S-Sorry," he stammered, taking his hands away from his almost completely bare chest! What was it with this guy and wearing things so revealing? (Or just nothing at all!)

Grimmjow just smiled and turned his back starting off in the general direction of the stairs. "Where are you going?" Ichigo shouted after him, annoyed that he thought he could own the place.

"To have a shower," he replied back.

"I'll bring the towels up in a bit," he said, but he was saying it more to himself as Grimmjow was already out of sight.

He almost growled at himself for actually replying to that. '_I'll bring the towels up in a bit_'!? What were they now, a bloody married couple!? Ichigo turned back to Rukia who was giggling, her eyes sparkling at what she 'thought' she had just found. '_Thought' being the important word, _Ichigo deliberated. "I'm just being responsible," he told her beginning to clear away the remnants of breakfast.

"Last time I looked 'doctor and patient' was well . . . not what I'd call responsible," she said winking.

"Rukia!" he exclaimed almost dropping the plate he was cleaning.

"What?" she said holding up her hands defensively.

"You have such a dirty mind," he pouted, although anyone could see the inevitable blush creeping onto his face as well as the small smile.

"Uh huh," she said not really listening. "Why do all the cute hunks have to be gay," she rambled, helping Ichigo with the plates.

"He might not be gay, Rukia," he said somewhat sadly.

Okay, he couldn't deny that the man was sexy. And maybe if he were gay he would try a little harder to get him to see him in a different light but he didn't even know if the man swung that way! "I wasn't just talking about him," she muttered.

"You'll find someone eventually," he said trying to comfort her; oblivious to whom she was talking about. "Anyway, I better go and get those towels. Make yourself at home," he said, already watching her take a seat on the sofa sighing heavily. Grabbing the towels and heading upstairs he made a mental note to talk to her about her love issues when he had figured this blue-haired mess out. Honestly, he was a magnet for troubles these days.

"Grimmjow?" he said, knocking on the bathroom door.

At first there was nothing and Ichigo's first thought was that he had collapsed but despite that he wanted to be certain. After all he didn't want to barge in on him naked and fully conscious. Ichigo knocked again making sure that it was louder the same as his voice. "Grimmjow!?"

"Come in," a voice called from the other side.

Relieved, Ichigo opened the door only to find himself gasping at what he saw. The whole of the blunette's body was covered in purple and black blotches, with several scratches here and there. Ichigo cursed himself mentally for not checking him over properly before realising he was staring. "Sorry," he mumbled looking down.

Grimmjow snorted as if this sort of thing happened all the time and took the towel off Ichigo, his hand brushing against his as he did making him blush. Ichigo looked up and winced at the injuries. "Can I take a look?" he asked.

Grimmjow huffed but sat down on the edge of the bath as Ichigo ran his hands along his perfectly sculpted body. Everywhere he touched the man seemed to wince slightly and Ichigo wished he could do something. He knew for a fact that he had not punctured anything or broken a rib now that he had had a closer inspection but he would still lie to him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to let him go – for more reasons than one. "You've not punctured anything – but I'm still not sure whether or not you've broken anything," he lied averting his gaze.

Grimmjow smirked then stood up, brushing Ichigo aside. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you were keeping me here for your own evil plans,"

Ichigo blushed the brightest shade of red Grimmjow thought you could get on a person making him chuckle as the young man tried to form a sentence. "I-I-I'm not! W-what – Why-!?"

Ichigo froze as Grimmjows face came not mere inches away from his and almost gasped as a hand went and ruffled his unruly orange locks making his eyes glisten with embarrassment and a hint of disappointment. "Joking – but you're cute when you stutter and blush," he grinned.

"A-asshole!" Ichigo stuttered again before legging it out of the steamy room.

Grimmjow smiled at the closed door and laughed making the strawberry blush even more as he lingered outside. Finally, feeling too embarrassed to face him again he went down stairs to find Rukia gone and only shrugged at her sudden disappearance. Trust her to leave thinking she was helping situations. With nothing better to do he sat down waiting for Grimmjow to return from his shower whilst thinking of what to do to pass the boredom other than thinking of Grimmjows body.

It was troubling him, why a guy of his build and arrogance would let a few weasels beat him up this badly and remembered the vacant look on his face before he showed himself. Ichigo slumped into the sofa trying not to think too much about it – after all it was Grimmjow's life not his and he didn't want to be nosy. But still he couldn't get the blunette out of his head whether it was a thought about his body or his past! _Damn, how are the next few days going to be like!_


	5. More than a Kiss

**Reward to all you lovelies (need to think of a better name!) so hope you enjoy ;) Thank you for reading so far and please review some more; I want to know what you are thinking :P**

* * *

~Chapter 4 – More than a kiss~

* * *

He growled and he didn't care if the fucking orange haired twat heard it or not; it was driving him mad. Just two days and already he had the nerve to tease him! Ichigo turned to glare at the blunette and Grimmjow glared back making sure to growl again. Ichigo flipped him off and returned to watching the TV whilst 'accidently' torturing Grimmjow.

He watched as he licked and sucked the sherbet off a sweet stick and felt his eyebrow twitch in irritation. One of the reasons why he had agreed to stay here and the reason why he followed the strawberry here in the first place was because of his looks. That sexy tanned body with those bright locks made him want to pounce and devour him. The blunette was just itching to strip him and gaze upon his toned muscles. He could tell the guy was gay from the way he blushed so hard every-time they were inches away and because of the incident in the bathroom a few days ago. However, he liked to think he made everyone like that anyway.

Grimmjow didn't know he himself was gay; he might have had an inkling when he didn't find chicks attractive but he passed it off from the lack of emotion; but ever since he had met and stayed with this guy those feelings had started coming back. That was the first sign that told him he was into men. So when this guy decided to lick _white _sherbet off a pink _stick, _he had a right to get twitchy. He was starting to pitch a tent as he watched Ichigo's tongue dart out to collect the sherbet that had been stuck to the stick from the remnants of his saliva. Grimmjow bit his lip and continued to watch but soon he couldn't take it. "Stop sucking that fucking stick!"

Ichigo, who had grown use to Grimmjows short fuse simply glared at him again. "If you want one, go get one," he commented.

Grimmjow thought about that idea and smirked. Ichigo sure wouldn't be expecting that. "What are you smirking at?" he said, narrowing his eyes.

"I was thinking 'bout getting one," he replied, sneering at him, his eyes quickly darting down the boy's body.

At first Ichigo just stared at him confusion clear in his eyes, then when he saw the blunette's eyes scanning him he turned just as pink as that stick. Grimmjow snorted and watched as Ichigo slowly started to eat the sherbet again, still pink and embarrassed from the recent comment. It was so funny watching his now shy tongue lick it; his eyes kept darting to Grimmjow to make sure he wasn't watching but only grew redder every time he saw those azure eyes piercing his.

After a few minutes had passed he had gotten over his shy stage and it almost looked as if . . . he was enjoying it? He was a lot more active now than before making the blunette shiver when he saw his cheeks hollow to take in the stick. When he caught the berry staring at him he snarled seeing the look in his eye - The guy was purposely taunting him. "For the last time stop sucking that goddamn stick! Does it even have a flavour!?" he shouted, his patience now at boiling point.

"Oh yeah, it has a flavour," he said, grinning.

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow, as the berry's smile grew wider as he uttered one word, putting the blunette on edge. "Strawberry,"

Strawberry. It was fucking strawberry. Grimmjow roared in irritation and charged at a startled Ichigo knocking them both off the sofa and onto the floor, the sweet now lying on the floor crushed. "Hey!" Ichigo shouted angrily. "I was enjoying that!"

"Yeah! Whilst torturing me with it!"

Ichigo chuckled and gave him a dark look. "So it _was _irritating you," he snickered.

Grimmjow pinned the berry's arms above his head and shoved his face in his, their mouths inches apart. "Watch what you say kid," he warned, feeling his resistance to the boy quickly slipping.

"I told you, I'm 21," he said squirming beneath him, his face heated.

Without warning, Grimmjow leant down smashing their lips together stunning the strawberry into silence. He pulled away already cussing at himself for pulling a move so soon; although it was his fault. "Does it look like I care," he said, averting his gaze, the slightest pink haze gracing his cheeks.

Ichigo looked up at the man and smiled shyly at the faint pink and sat up on his elbows pressing his lips to his. It was probably the boldest thing he would do in his life, apart from the teasing he had done minutes earlier. _I guess that's what happens when you're in love. Wait, am I in love!? _His train of thoughts were caught off when the blunette above him leaned down again, his lips pressing harder against his. Ichigo gave a throaty and involuntary moan as he ran his tongue along his lower lip asking for entrance. Ichigo denied the man entry causing him to start biting his lip but still he refused. Grimmjow pulled away an annoyed yet lust filled look in his eyes. "I'll warn you, I'm not patient," he stated.

He started licking his neck and jaw making Ichigo shudder. He bit into the sensitive part of his flesh and sucked making the berry moan again at the pleasure rocketing through his body. Grabbing the opportunity, Grimmjow darted his tongue into his open mouth, instantly exploring the dark cavern. Without knowing, Ichigo had wrapped his arms around his neck, his hands grabbing his blue locks as the blunette became rougher. He had never felt this way and he wasn't sure whether to be scared or excited.

Then the door bell went.

Grimmjow pulled away, the two panting from the lack of air. As much as Ichigo wanted to continue he had a feeling who it could be and he didn't want her to see them like this. "I'll go get that," he said, starting to come down from his high.

Grimmjow yanked him back down and continued from where he left off as if the bell had never rung. Ichigo pulled away panting again. This wasn't right – they were both strangers who hardly knew anything about each-other! "Grimmjow!" he whispered loudly. "She has a key,"

"She'll go away," he argued back, nuzzling into his neck.

"She didn't last time,"

"Don't care," he said, still occupying himself with the berry's neck.

Ichigo groaned but gave up pulling Grimmjow to his mouth again. He was so sneaky. He now had a red mark on his neck so it didn't really matter whether Rukia walked in again. She would still see the mark even if she did go away. He groaned again when he heard the faint sound of keys but ignored it as Grimmjow's hand started to roam his body. What a mistake that was.

"Kurosaki-kun?"

Ichigo froze, his eyes widening to the size of saucers. And so did Grimmjows? "Urahara!" they both yelled in unison.

Urahara Kisuke, the owner of a creepy candy shop raised an eyebrow at them, his Cheshire cat grin hidden behind his fan. "My, my! Kurosaki-kun and Jeagerjacques-san? What a . . . coincidence?"

Ichigo glowered at the old, perverted man and had no doubt that this was in no way a coincidence. He bet the small midget told him about this. "What did Rukia tell you!?"

"Just that you had a visitor - I thought I might drop by and say hello, see how you're welcoming him,"

The pair still on the floor glared at him both cursing the raven-haired girl. "Although by the looks of it," he continued, "you're doing fine on welcoming him,"

Ichigo blushed hard, grabbing the first thing that he could get his hands on, which was unfortunately a cushion, and threw it at the perverted man. "What do you want Urahara!?"

"I came to give you this month's income," he said, his face serious for once.

Ichigo's blush died down instantly and he grabbed the thick envelope from the man, his eyes filled with sorrow and regret. "Tell Tsukishima I said thanks,"

"Of course,"

Grimmjow stared at the two and wondered what the hell was wrong. The old man for sure never had a serious expression on his face or at least not when Grimmjow was around. What was really annoying though was how the hell the merchant knew Ichigo. "Grimmjow!" a high pitched voice sang and Grimmjow swung a fist out connecting with the perverts face.

"Well avoided, Grimmjow-san," he said covering his bleeding nose.

"I didn't really avoid it," he muttered, glancing at Ichigo's sad expression. "What are you doing here?" he asked the dodgy merchant.

Urahara picked himself up and gave another serious expression; _Shit, I really hate it when he does that. _"I could ask you the same," he countered.

"I got into trouble and Ichigo's helping – now what's your deal?"

"My, my. . . Impatient as ever I see,"

"Spit,"

"I simply deliver necessities to Kurosaki-kun,"

"Just like you do with Aizen? What a generous man," he said his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Normally with other people he would pass it off and just let ol' hat and clogs do whatever he wanted to do. But this time the normal person included Ichigo – and for a reason he was at the minute denying, he wouldn't let the man have his way with Ichigo. Back at headquarters, Urahara was always the guy that supplied them with weapons as well as other things. He was also the merchant which Aizen had set Grimmjow near for the month. He knew his profession very well but with someone like Aizen, he wouldn't con him. Others he would strike a deal and later return to kill them – or so he heard. In any case, this guy was dodgy and Grimmjow wasn't going to let him get anywhere near Ichigo. "Who's Aizen?" Ichigo piped in.

"Just ma boss," he replied vaguely.

Urahara glanced at him before turning to Ichigo with a silly smile on his face. "Well, I am lucky I caught you both!"

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked, stuffing the envelope into his back pocket.

"Well, I also needed to speak to Grimmjow,"

"You did?" they both said in unison.

"Yes - But it can probably wait until tomorrow," he said, a mischievous grin on his face.

Grimmjow glanced at the creepy supplier and nodded his head. He would have just denied his 'request' and demand he tell it to him now but he had no intention of revealing his other life to Ichigo; he was going to let it remain a secret for as long as possible. "Fine. Where ya wanna meet tomorrow?" he asked, hoping whatever he wanted to say didn't involve Aizen – Ha, wishful thinking.

"Outside my shop will do just fine," he said.

"Wait!"

The two glanced at the orange-haired boy confused at his flustered state and reddening cheeks. "I was hoping he would come with me to the festival tomorrow,"

Grimmjow smirked a little, hiding his glee inside his chest as well as the smug look he wanted to give 'hat and clogs'. Urahara smiled at Ichigo from behind his fan and nodded. "Alright – I'll see him _after _the festival," he stated, putting emphasis on 'after'.

"We're not gonna be out all night," the berry replied in annoyance at his statement.

"Oh yes, yes _that_ was what I meant,"

Ichigo gave him an annoyed and confused look but shrugged it off turning to Grimmjow. "You do want to come don't you?" he asked, fiddling with his fingers.

"Sure, I'd -,"

"What about his state?" Urahara butted in.

"Get lost old man!" they both shouted making the candy man smile and retreat.

When the door finally closed leaving them alone Ichigo sighed and collapsed on the sofa, the blunette soon following after. The berry was just about to ask if he could check what his state was but was cut off when a pair of lips crashed against his before soon pulling away. "Wanna continue?" he smirked.

He dived in again not waiting for an answer and when the need for air was present Ichigo denied, still panting. Now was not the time. "Go. . . to bed," he ordered half-heartedly.

"Your bed? My how bold,"

"Baka!" he shouted, but it was still resigned and Grimmjow sighed seeing his tired and somehow sad eyes and, for now, decided to give up.

He slowly followed Ichigo before realising that he was in fact leading him to his bedroom. "Where are we going?" he asked, not bothering to hide the excitement in his voice.

"Get over yourself," he said quickly before answering the question. "You were going to sleep on the Futon before you went and slept on the couch,"

Grimmjow paused in the doorway before actually going in and immediately situated himself on the futon curling up like a cat. "You're supposed to get undressed," came Ichigo's monotone voice.

Grimmjow lazily turned on his back and shed his clothes leaving only his boxers before turning back on his side. "You'll catch a cold if you don't put the covers on wearing nothing but boxers," Ichigo complained again.

"Go away," he grumbled, already feeling the pull of sleep.

The last thing he heard before he slept into unconsciousness was the sound of the berry's laughter as he pulled the cover over him and started stroking his long blue locks. _Soft git . . . _


	6. Rely on me

**Review - I know my you all want to ;)**

* * *

~Chapter 5 – Rely on me~

* * *

"Mnn . . . What?"

Ichigo groaned, shuffling, trying to get rid of the thing that was poking his behind. He was trying to sleep and something was waking him up – but what he wasn't sure as he was still too tired to care. Then its persistent rutting finally aroused him revealing to him his surroundings. Something warm was wrapped around Ichigo's lower body. Something warm was resting its soft locks onto his abdomen. And something _very_ warm was halfway down the back of his pants! "G-Grimmjow! What are you doing?" he yelled, looking down to see that the blunette was snuggling with him in _his _bed!

The blunette stirred slightly, grumbling something incoherently before settling back again. "Why are ya awake so fucking early," he moaned, burying his head into the berry's stomach.

"Because something very warm is halfway down my pants!" he hissed, gasping when it tightened its grip. Fucking tease.

"Yeah, that might be me,"

"I know it's you!" he all but screamed.

"Then why the fuck d'ya ask," he complained.

Ichigo mentally face palmed himself before sighing and snuggling back into his pillow when the hand removed itself. Then he tensed when his earlier question popped back into his sleep-dazed brain. "Hey . . . Why are you in my bed?"

"I was cold,"

"You were cold when you were sleeping in a futon on a heated floor?" he asked, still too tired to be arguing with this obnoxious man.

_Probably because he decided to sleep in nothing but boxers _he thought. "Get used to it, now shut up and go back to sleep," he moaned pulling himself up so his head now rested in the hollow of the berry's neck.

Ichigo growled in frustration but hesitantly rested his head against the blue locks letting the strands tickle his face. There was still that lingering feeling about the whole 'love at first sight' with a blue-haired badass. "Are you purring?" he asked, his brow wrinkled in confusion.

"Shut up," he growled, giving a quick nip to the boy's neck making him squeak.

"I only asked," he whispered, a pout on his lips that slowly faded as he settled back down.

"Ichi?"

"Yeah?" he asked, this time him being the one annoyed at the lack of sleep; his drowsy haze ignoring the new nickname.

"What was the money for?"

Ichigo almost seemed to stop breathing he was that still for a minute. Grimmjow thought he had killed him when he felt his skin go cold and the pulse under his neck die down until a monotone voice broke through. "It was nothing,"

Grimmjow looked up, staring at the boy through blue strands of hair before lifting his hand to brush a stray tear off. "Sorry," he grumbled.

Ichigo blinked and lifted his hand to his face, confused with his tears. "Sorry," he mumbled, fisting his hand and rubbing it over his eyes like a toddler would.

"You'll get an ugly red face if ya do that," he complained taking his hands in his.

"Wha- What are you doing?"

Grimmjow shrugged and continued licking the salty tears off of his face. "Better than you looking like a snot faced child," he said, letting his fingers trace patterns on his arms before the younger man squirmed underneath him. "What's wro-?"

"Bwah-ha-ha! S-stop it," he said, between fits of giggles.

Grimmjow soon joined in the laughter continuing to tickle the strawberry, watching as he was soon crying from laughter. He wouldn't pressure him about the money if he didn't want to talk to him about it, but he didn't like it when he got upset just over something as small as a man giving him money. Even in the small amount of time he had spent with the strawberry, he had the urge to protect and make him happy. When was the last time he felt anything like this? "Why did you wake me up again?" he asked, still tickling the younger adult.

"Because you had your hand down my pants!" he said, looking up at the blunette, a slight pink haze resting over his cheeks.

Grimmjow grinned bending over him so his face was only inches away. "Oh yeah?"

Ichigo held his breath waiting for the kiss that never came as the phone went off both making them groan in annoyance. "I'll be back," Ichigo sighed, already heading towards the door.

Grimmjow grunted in response giving him a quick peck and watched as the orange-haired berry went off to retrieve the phone flushed before smiling for the first time in years.

**xxx**

Ichigo sighed in frustration as he walked towards the ringing phone. God, he felt like such a whore. It had been less than a couple of days and he was already getting too familiar with the stranger. Was it love? Ichigo once knew a thing called love but it was the sudden disappearance of it that had left him without a clue of what it was anymore. Should he even trust this guy? Not many people get beaten up for nothing after all – and that hair! Ichigo sighed again at his own overworking mind and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Ah! Ichigo, its Tsukishima!" the man on the other side said, sounding somewhat cheerful.

Ichigo's heart pumped so loud he could hear it beating in his ears. "Tsukishima! Is he-!"

"Sorry,"

Ichigo could almost see him shake his head and punched himself for coming to such silly conclusions. "Sorry," Tsukishima said again. "We're still trying our best,"

"It's my fault – I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that,"

Ichigo waited as Tsukishima seemed to hesitate for a minute before considering what he was going to say. "You didn't go yesterday . . . or the day before that," he started instantly making him feel guilty. "Ichigo? Is everything ok?"

"Sorry Tsukishima – tell him I said sorry," he said trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Ichigo. You're allowed to continue with your life – he wouldn't hate you for it," he said.

Ichigo nodded before realising he couldn't see that. "I know. I'll come visit after the festival. Bring him a souvenir,"

Tsukishima sighed on the other side of the phone but agreed. "Alright – Just remember that he would want you to continue with your life and not worry about him,"

"I know," Ichigo sighed. "See ya,"

Ichigo ran a hand through his hair clicking the phone back in place before calmly walking over to couch and picking up a cushion. For a minute flat he held it to his face, muffling his screams and cries of agony. Of course, he wouldn't want him to worry and act like this. He'd tell him he's a pussy and to get over himself. But just that memory of him, of telling him what to do made him so mad and so useless. After more agonisingly painful cries he threw the pillow panting with anger rather than exhaustion. He was now mad that he had forgotten to visit him. "Ichi?"

Ichigo turned around; Grimmjow was stood there, his clothes changed and his hair slightly dishevelled. Obviously his time taken to scream had given the man enough time to change. "Sorry! Was I taking too long?" he asked smiling and heading for the kitchen. "It was just an old friend nothing more! So what would you like fo-,"

He was cut off when strong masculine arms wrapped themselves around him, pressing his small head to his chest. "I heard," he said simply.

Those two words and everything came crashing down. He hadn't meant to cry in front of him _again. _But as he stood there, holding on to someone he thought he could love tightly, he just broke down. He could feel his legs give way as he let out embarrassing and uncontrollable sobs, but Grimmjow caught the weeping man and sat him down on top of the marble counter; Ichigo still clinging to his neck. They stayed like that for only god knows how long - Ichigo resting his head in the crook of Grimmjows neck, allowing thousands of tears to fall and soak the blunette's skin. It pained Grimmjow so much that this man had so much to cry for so he held on to him as if his life depended on it, deciding there and then that he would help him see happiness again. "S-sorry," Ichigo hiccupped, pulling away from him. "I don't usually cry this often," he sniffled, not wanting to show that he was weak.

Grimmjow simply brushed away the remaining tears and pulled him back in an embrace feeling Ichigo take deep, calming breaths. "We don't have to go to the festival if ya want to go visit,"

He had no idea who Ichigo wanted to visit; he didn't even care if it was his past boyfriend or whatever he just wanted him to stop crying. "No," he said. "I told Tsukishima I'd visit after the festival," he said.

Grimmjow pulled back looking up at his chocolate orbs and grinned ever so slightly. "I'm not gonna judge if ya wanna ditch me to go see him,"

Ichigo smiled for a brief time before his eyes began watering again. "That's not fair on you,"

"You've not known me long, so it doesn't count," he winked, rubbing calming circles onto the palms of his hand. "Are ya sure?" he asked seeing the resolve in Ichigo's eyes.

Ichigo nodded, wiping the remaining tears from his face before turning back to the blunette a genuine smile on his face. "Thank you Grimm," he said, quickly pecking his cheek and hopping down from the counter.

Grimmjow lightly brushed the spot he had been kissed on and smiled at the now happy berry, dashing around getting breakfast ready. "Grimm?" he questioned.

"W-well you started calling me Ichi – s-so I thought . . .," he stuttered, trailing off making Grimmjow laugh.

_Yep, this was definitely love . . . _


	7. A Bitter Souvenir

**This is going down a storm – thanks ;) Might I warn you all that there are 3 more chapters left until some heavy action ;) Anyhoo, enjoy and REVIEW!**

* * *

~Chapter 6 – A Bitter Souvenir ~

* * *

"Oi! Ichi! Your weird-ass friends are here!" Grimmjow yelled annoyed that he was the one who had to awkwardly greet his friends.

"Jeez Grimm, I'm coming already!"

Ichigo stumbled down the stairs yanking on his coat in the process when he came across four shocked faces staring back at him and one slightly pissed face staring off into the distance. "What!?" Ichigo exclaimed. "Is there something on my face?"

Rukia, who was clinging onto his best-friend Renji, was the first to break the silence. "I told you," she mumbled now grinning mischievously at Ichigo.

"Rukia," he almost growled. "What did you tell them?"

"That you had gone and got your pompous ass in lo~ve," Renji sang making the berry blush fiercely.

"Now, now Abarai-kun," Uryu said, pushing up his thin-framed spectacles. "Is it really that much of a surprise that Kurosaki finally got a guy?" he questioned, looking slightly bored.

"Eh! But even you couldn't stop your mouth from splitting open," his busty girl-friend Orihime complained, not liking that they were all picking on her ex-crush.

Ichigo gaped at the four incredibly rude people and glanced at Grimmjow who was now snickering at the scene. When the night was over, he was going to ambush that bastard and finish the beating the others didn't finish. "Come on!" he seethed, dragging Grimmjow out the door. "You were all the ones who invited me to this festival," he complained, locking the door behind him

It was true. It was another one of Rukia's trips that she had planned and had decided to make him tag along – he had no say in it whatsoever. Thinking about it, he only agreed to go because he thought he would find someone interesting. No point in that anymore.

"That was when you needed cheering up," Rukia pointed out.

"She's right Kurosaki-kun," Orihime piped in. "Although now that you have Grimmjow-san, you can forget-,"

On hearing the word forget, Ichigo's whole body tensed and he sent the stupid girl a fierce glare. Orihime abruptly cut off avoiding eye contact from him as he clenched his hands into fists, anger evident in the way he held himself. Grimmjow looked worriedly at the orange-haired boy as he fought a battle internally of what to do. "Let's go," Ichigo finally mumbled walking quickly in the direction of sparkling lights not bothering to let anyone catch up to him.

He had been so close to losing it. He had so badly wanted to punch something, to yell at them all that no matter what _he _would always come first. But they didn't understand how he felt and that was the only thing that held him back. Ichigo growled furiously at the way his vision blurred so easily – he was such a fucking pussy. A flash of blue danced into his eyesight and he glanced at Grimmjow who was now walking beside him, hand intertwined with his. "Stop crying," he demanded, giving his hand a tight squeeze. "I don't like it when you cry,"

Ichigo smiled briefly before scowling at him. "Who said I was crying?"

_**XXX**_

By the time they had all reached the festival, Ichigo had calmed down and was enjoying Grimmjow's company still walking hand in hand. The others had not questioned how well they had grown to know each-other nor did they mention any word of what had happened earlier. They were just happy that for a least a little, their Ichigo would feel happiness once more.

Ichigo spun around to face them all, his face literally glowing with joy as he danced around like a little girl. "What do you wanna do first!?" he asked gleefully, still – as the others noticed – clinging to Grimmjow's hand.

"Well, we all want to do different things so . . . how about we split and meet at the Ferris wheel in an hour?" Rukia suggested.

Grimmjow snickered at her idea knowing full well what her plan was; not that he minded though. It was for the best if Ichigo was further away from people who would bring up painful memories. Although he bet that wasn't why Rukia had suggested it. _Some friends . . . _

Ichigo nodded oblivious to her little scheming plan and tugged Grimmjow away throwing a lazy 'see ya' over his back. The others chuckled as they watched the couple leave before going their own way but never far from the strange couple. Grimmjow glanced at the berry and let out a small sigh of frustration. _His friends are so dumb_ he thought as he saw fury and hurt reflected in those mocha orbs. "So where do you wanna go first?" the blunette asked, giving a reassuring but barely noticeable squeeze to his hand.

"I need to get a souvenir," he answered already knowing that the blunette had seen through his act.

Grimmjow slowed as Ichigo paused to look at a stall filled with soft plushie toys and exhaled softly. He knew what souvenir meant from listening in to the conversation Ichigo had had on the phone. What he wanted to know was what the hell was wrong with the person on the receiving end? All he knew was that it was bad if it could bring a strong man like Ichigo to his knees. Good job he was here to help. "Which one ya want?"

Ichigo turned around eyes wide and scowled at him, smacking the taller man around the head lightly. "Don't even think about it,"

Grimmjow chuckled, a wide smirk plastered on his face. "Make me!" he remarked his face inches away from his.

Ichigo blushed from the sudden proximity just as Grimmjow thought he would and strolled over to the stall, a complaining berry pulling at his arm. Evidently, tonight was going to be hard for Ichigo; every-time he was going to smile tonight he would later sober thinking he shouldn't be having fun right now. How he longed to kill the person that made Ichi feel like this. _I'd rip them limb from limb _he thought angrily before freezing. _Wait what!? _"Sir? Which one would you like," the grinning idiot behind the stall asked, forcing Grimmjow to postpone his thoughts.

The blunette turned to Ichigo who was gazing idly at a white plushie in the shape of a wolf; red streaks on one side of the animals face. _I'm guessing that one then!_ "I'll have that one," he said, pointing to the soft toy.

Grimmjow reached over grabbing the toy from the grinning maniac and handed it to Ichigo, his face already a dark shade of red. "You didn't have to," he said gripping the animal close to his chest making him smile.

"Sure," he scoffed, going to shove his hands in his pockets when another hand joined his. "T-thank you," the strawberry mumbled, hiding his face in the soft fur of the toy.

Grimmjow grinned, dragging him off to where all the food was being held. "Come on – let's get something to eat as long as you don't go getting something that you can suck on," he joked, winking at him.

Ichigo blushed harder - if that was even possible – and punched his shoulder. "You didn't have to watch me!" he argued.

"I was bored," he retaliated, giving the guy across him the money for the food.

"I'm sure you could have survived without molesting me," he grunted.

Grimmjow leaned in kissing the oblivious guy on the lips and passing over something with his tongue letting it dissolve in both their mouths. "Shut up and eat – and I don't see why you're complaining when you were an active participant," he smirked, pulling away and handing him the rest of the candy floss.

Ichigo was just about to reply when a loud voice cut him off. "Ah! There he is!" a voice shouted in the not so far distance.

Ichigo looked up and waved at the people rushing towards him. "Hey guys! I thought we said an hour. We've still got 30 minutes left,"

Rukia pouted. "Yeah, well I wanted to go on the Ferris wheel _now_,"

"You go ahead," Ichigo said his voice . . . cracking?

Rukia glanced at him worriedly remembering that it was his first time going on a Ferris wheel since the incident and sighed. "Well you can't stay here," she complained but her voice was a lot gentler.

"It's okay, he has to go anyway," Grimmjow cut in making even Ichigo surprised.

"I do?" he asked in confusion, then looked at where Grimmjows gaze had rested upon and gripped the furry animal harder. "Yeah, I do. Sorry Rukia,"

Rukia shook her head, dismissing his unnecessary apology, and squashed her friend in a bone-crunching hug. "Its fine," she murmured into his coat. "I'll see you later," she said pulling back and heading towards the big wheel.

Ichigo nodded not trusting his voice and turned to Grimmjow. "I'll see you later,"

"What? No, I'm coming with you," he stated, gripping the berry's hand tighter.

"Would you?" he asked, an almost relieved tone in his voice.

"Of course – I mean only if you want me to," he replied shyly, contradicting his previous words.

Ichigo chuckled starting to lead them both out of the twinkling lights. "You're a softy at heart, you know that?"

"Shut it,"


	8. One more good-bye

**This is such a sad chapter **** Let me know what you think!**

* * *

~Chapter 7 - More than one good-bye~

* * *

"Ichigo!?"

The orange-haired boy turned to see a man in a white coat and smiled sadly before holding up the massive wolf. "I brought that souvenir,"

Tsukishima gave him a small smile and turned to the blue-haired man standing right beside him, hanging onto his hand making his smile strain. "You brought a guest?"

"Oh yeah, this is Grimmjow," he mumbled, seeming to grip onto the man tighter. "I wanted him to come," he added in a whispered.

Grimmjow squeezed his hand back and looked down into Ichigo's mocha eyes. "It's fine," he reassured him, his way of telling him that everything would be alright.

He wasn't like the rest of his friends who would ignore his feelings. He also wasn't like the others who would find out about his past and run away. No, no matter what Ichigo showed him he would be right by his side.

The doctor nodded in understanding and moved aside to let them through the doors. This was the first time Ichigo had decided to bring a visitor to help him through this. "If you need me you know where my office is," he reminded him.

Ichigo bobbed his head up and down and led Grimmjow down the sterile white halls, his body rigid and tense. "Relax," Grimmjow murmured, making circles with his thumb on Ichigo's hand.

"I've walked down these halls so many times yet I still feel so scared," he whispered finally stopping at the door at the end.

Grimmjow read the tiny plaque on the wall before looking over at Ichigo. "Shirosaki Hichigo," he read out, seeing the pain in his eyes as he did so.

"My brother," Ichigo confirmed before placing his hand on the knob of the door. "Will you come in with me?" he asked, his voice cracking at every word.

"Of course," he replied instantly.

_So it was his brother?_ Grimmjow never had any other siblings so he wasn't used to the affections that went with them – he had no idea how Ichigo would be feeling and just hoped he was enough to comfort him without any prior knowledge. Yes, his mother died on him and in a horrible way but he didn't care at that point. At the time it just seemed like a tragedy that you had to move on from. Death was a regular thing for Grimmjow at that point so he took it a lot better than most . . . same thing probably couldn't be said for Ichigo.

Ichigo drew a quick shaky breath before turning the handle and walking in, a big grin plastered on his face despite the tears that were already shining on it. He let go of his hand and Grimmjow watched him walk up to his brother, plushie in hand before setting it down next to the albino.

Shirosaki Hichigo on first sight seemed to look exactly like his brother until you got a closer look at him. He was a lot skinnier than Ichigo but Grimmjow bet that was down to his condition. Even lying in bed, the blunette could tell he was slightly taller than Ichigo. His hair was snow white the same as his skin making him look pure rather than sickly.

Ichigo grasped his cold hand, his other subconsciously running a hand through the snowy locks. He would come here every-day just to sit by and comfort the older brother that much he knew. What Grimmjow wanted to know was how long he had been doing this for. It was like a regular routine for Ichigo and his earlier comment about walking down the halls so many times to get to him, unnerved him. "Ichi," he whispered softly, standing on the other side of the bed against the wall so he could see his face clearly. "Since when?"

Ichigo swallowed, still remembering the horrible event to this day. "Almost 4 years ago,"

Grimmjow restrained himself from growling and instead stayed silent for Ichigo to continue not wanting to push him when this was probably the first time he had explained to someone else the details.

"It was a quiet summer day; my family had all been avoiding me making plans for my upcoming birthday so I hadn't spoken to them properly before they . . .," he cut off closing his eyes.

He had tried many times to speak to a physiologist or even relieve himself by telling his friends but he never had the guts to do so. For the first time in 4 years he was about to share the most painful emotions and memories and to a stranger at that.

"I had gone out that day because I was annoyed that they had avoided me for so long not understanding that they were trying to do something special for my 18th. When I look back on it I want to kick myself for acting like such a spoilt and obnoxious child," he snarled before continuing.

"I stayed out fairly let that night only doing so because not once did they call or text to ask where I was. I got a few from Shiro but he always did that so I saw it no differently and ignored them. When I finally did go home though, the whole place smelt of something metallic and the house was dark,"

"Ya don't have to continue if ya don't want to," Grimmjow butted in, not liking the haunted and frightened look that was on his face as he stared down unblinkingly at his brother – he had a feeling of where this was going and didn't want Ichigo to relive something so horrible.

"Its fine," he answered. "I need to get this out of my system," he said.

Grimmjow nodded but still kept a close eye on him. "When I opened the door the first thing I saw was blood. It coated the whole of my mother's picture that hung across from the kitchen. I had seen blood loads of times before because my father was a doctor but seeing blood in that way made me instantly drop to my knees. After that I crawled to the living room already knowing what I would see. At first it was nothing because the room was so dark but I could still taste and smell that metallic tang but this time stronger. Then I saw them," he whispered hoarsely.

"My two sisters lay clutching each other both their necks mangled. My dad was not too far behind them, a knife in his hands. He had obviously tried to protect them. Although I was close to them, nothing could ever beat the bond me and my brother had. Maybe it was the fact that we are twins. My legs finally began to work and I ran all over the house screaming his name. I eventually found him in my room hiding in the closet. He must have seen the rest of them being slaughtered otherwise he would have protected them! I know he would have!" he shouted the last part, his eyes wide and frantic finally pulling away from his brothers body to look into Grimmjow's azure eyes.

"He was still breathing," he continued crying. "But ever-since he's been in a coma due to massive brain trauma,"

Grimmjow stared helplessly at Ichigo, watching as the tears continuously poured with his face however impassive. "That's how it is. . . I should be dead,"

Grimmjow snarled and rushed to Ichigo embracing him fiercely. "Never say that,"

Ichigo hiccupped and clung to Grimmjow's shirt as Grimmjow ran a hand through his orange locks – the other wrapped firmly around him. "If you were dead, those guys would 'ave beaten the shit out of me meaning I would have never met ya," he stated. "If you were dead, I would 'ave never felt again," he confessed quietly.

Chocolate brown orbs glanced up again, wavering from the tears that still held themselves in his eyes. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this," he admitted, still holding onto him. "Not even my friends know the whole story so why? Why do I feel like I can trust you? You could be a ruthless gang member for all I know,"

Grimmjow bitterly laughed at how right Ichigo was making him cock his head to the side but he just waved him off. "Gee thanks Ichi," he chuckled darkly covering up the facts with humour.

"Sorry . . . What I'm trying to say is that I'm happy I can trust you,"

"Because ya get a trustworthy guy as well as a sex-god?" he smirked.

Ichigo hit the big blunette but smiled never the less at his crude joke making Grimmjow grin as well. "Go," he suddenly said pushing him away.

Grimmjow stared at him, his arms still outstretched from the embrace making Ichigo giggle. "You need to go see Urahara, remember?" he laughed hitting him on his blue mane.

Grimmjow grunted and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Do I get a good-bye?"

"Good-bye," he smiled sweetly.

"Damn Ichi, do ya not know what a good-bye means?" he sneered grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him into a fierce and passionate kiss. "That was a good-bye," he stated, gazing at the blushing strawberry when he finally pulled away.

"Whatever. . .," he mumbled. "Get going,"

"Ha! I'll see ya later where maybe we can work on the 'hello'?" he called behind his shoulder, shutting the door with a final click.

". . . Asshole . . .,"

It had taken him a while to leave Ichigo after all he had admitted to him including the kiss. After he had left he had lingered on the other side of the door for about ten minutes peeking through the window in the door watching how Ichigo was coping. The only reason he had stayed so long was because he was so happy. Ichigo like normal was talking to his brother, Shiro, but he was smiling and joking with the albino which was the basis of his stay. After he had seen enough of the berry's smile to last a lifetime he had left, heading over to the blond creeps with a genuine beam on his face (even if he was dreading this visit) His high didn't even come down when Urahara came out of the shadows a street away from where they had planned to meet until words left his mouth. "Your . . . happy mood. . . Surely Aizen is going to pick up on that when you go back?" he stated bluntly.

"Tsk, I have enough time to prepare for that," he replied curtly, not wanting some dodgy dealer to start telling him how to live his life.

"I don't think even an all-nighter would do it,"

_What? Please don' tell me he's suggesting what I think he is! _"What the fuck are you on about old man?" he scowled , seething with anger now.

The blonde man opened his fan and placed it in front of his face as he spoke, obviously trying to muffle the words but Grimmjow could still hear. "You go back tomorrow,"

Grimmjow clenched his hands into fists resisting the urge to hit the old man in the face permanently wrecking it. "I'm not due back for at least another week and you're saying he wants me back now!?"

"Well, it might not be that long – Ulquiorra-san has been absent and Aizen can't exactly leave the place unguarded can he?"

"How the fuck do you even know this?"

"I was deployed to tell you – but you weren't at the house allocated to you," he smiled, hiding it behind the fan but no-one could mistake the way he said it – he was trying to bring Ichigo into it.

"Leave him the fuck outta' it," he warned.

"Oh I will – It's what Aizen will do if he finds out,"

Grimmjow cursed and ran a hand though his hair pacing the small width of the street. This had happened with a past member of the Espada's that was also his close friend. He had fallen in love and had become compromised so Aizen dealt with it in the only way he saw fit. . . execution. Of course he didn't get them, they ran. But now that's the life they lead of constantly being on the run. "What do I do!?" he almost shouted stopping to turn to the man who had now lowered his fan to show his solemn face.

"You've been impassive for years – all it would take is a few more days,"

"Then what? What happens when I have to go back again?"

"You have to take each-day at a time," he reminded him, frustrating the blunette more even though he knew there was madness to the old man's words!

Grimmjow froze, the turning cogs almost visible as he thought of what to do. "Do you truly care for Ichigo?" he asked all of a sudden, his azure eyes piercing the old mans.

Urahara hesitated ever so slightly before voicing his opinion, "Yes,"

"Then will you help me get through this for his sake?"

"Of course," he answered immediately. "However if all else fails I want you leave – for the sake of Ichigo," he continued adding the last bit to remind him how cruel Aizen could be if he found out when Grimmjow's eyes widened.

The blunette grumbled a reply sticking his hands back in his pockets turning around to leave when a thought struck his mind. "Did you know about him?" he asked pausing mid-stride referring to the albino.

"Yes,"

"Who did it?"

"You are assuming I know?"

Grimmjow inclined his head back glancing at the suspicious man giving Urahara for the first time shivers. "I know you know,"

"That tale is best saved for another time," he replied pulling his hat down over his face and walking back into the shadows.

Huffing, Grimmjow turned back around heading back to the one he had grown to love even if he wouldn't yet admit it. He wasn't looking forward to it especially with what he was going to have to bring up – it would all be alright in the end but for now the berry would hate him. He wasn't normally a particularly patient guy but for him he could have all the time in the world.

Looking at the red door of the house, Grimmjow sighed knowing that this was going to be the hardest thing he would have to do in life - and it would eventually end in him not getting a cuddle tonight! "Ichi! I'm back," he yelled closing the door behind him.

"Grimm? I'm in the kitchen!" he replied making the taller man smirk at the nickname he had been assigned – it still sounded weird hearing him say that.

"Grimm?" he replied back, moving into the kitchen just in time to see Ichigo blush and turn shyly towards him.

"Y-yeah," he confirmed. "You kept calling me Ichi so it was only fair – Are you going to interrogate me ever-time I call you that?"

Grimmjow chuckled laughing at the boy's honesty before letting his feral smile drop. "Listen," he started already regretting it when the boy looked up at him with puppy eyes. "I spoke to Urahara,"

Ichigo's face lit up and Grimmjow cursed mentally at himself for starting the conversation with that – _oh yeah start with the name of the guy he trusts! Way to go Grimm! _"What did he say?"

"He was passing on a message from my boss," he replied, running a hand nervously through his messy hair.

"And?"

"I have to go back to work tomorrow," he started.

"Oh ok," Ichigo replied. "Just make sure not to do anything that will slow your healing - don't overdo yo-,"

"Ichigo when I mean go back to work I don't mean that," he said frustrated with how this boy was so oblivious at what he was trying to tell him.

Ichigo stopped what he was doing and set down the spoon he was using for stirring looking at him with an emotion that Grimmjow couldn't pinpoint – It was almost as if the boy had seen this coming and was begging him not to say anything more. He continued none the less. "After work I'm going straight home," he finally mumbled.

For a moment everything ranging from anger to loss was reflected in those chocolate orbs before he did the last thing Grimmjow thought he would do – lie. "That's great!" he beamed, slamming down the spoon into the water creating a violent splash. "Like I said – don't do anything too strenuous,"

The blunette feebly watched as he continued running rampage in the kitchen slamming and breaking everything he came across before finally setting down a plate of dinner on the table. "Aren't you going to eat as well?" he asked when he noticed that there was only one plate and that Ichigo had remained standing.

"I have work to do," he replied in a monotone voice.

Grimmjow sighed and ran a hand through his hair stepping closer to him but stopping when he realised that Ichigo was doing the same backwards. "Ichi," he murmured, trying to calm the boy down.

He thought they had gone past the boundary of lying. The fact that he was lying and covering up his emotions meant that he viewed him the same as his friends and it was killing Grimmjow – even after tomorrow when he revealed his plan it could still be over. Ichigo, who had been walking away, turned his head around shooting him an icy glare. "My whole world does not evolve around you – I have work," he stated bitterly walking upstairs and banging his door so hard the house could of shook from the force.

Exhaling noisily, Grimmjow pinched the bridge of his nose before placing the plate in the oven saving it for Ichigo who had no doubt not eaten. He would explain tomorrow even though he hoped just saying the one line he had practiced over and over would be enough. Eventually, Grimmjow decided to leave it for today and headed upstairs. He carefully and quietly opened the door a fraction frowning when he saw the berry huddled on the bed, his back towards him and small sniffles escaping him every so often. Grimmjow walked in closing the door behind him getting dressed quickly before hopping into bed with him making him turn around, his fist swinging but missing. "W-what are you doing!?" he pouted trying to hide the hiccup he made.

Grimmjow wrapped his arms around his waist tucking his head into his chest. "Just shut up and enjoy it," he mumbled running his hand through his locks until finally he gave in.

"Do you really have to go?" he whispered.

"What was I going to do? I couldn't stay here forever could I?"

Ichigo pulled away and spun around so his back was now facing him. "Well, sorry for keeping you from your life," he commented cynically, ruining the malice with a tiny whimper.

Grimmjow sighed and spooned the man, his arms going to settle over his waist whilst his head buried into the crook of his neck. "Ichi," he drawled. "It's not like this is the end – ya know I'll keep in contact – I'll probably be visiting ya so often I might as well live here," he chuckled making the smaller man laugh.

"That would be nice," he exhaled, turning around so he could now face him.

Ichigo leaned forward and kissed him gingerly, wrapping his arms around his neck before snuggling against his chest.

They both sighed happily in content when Ichigo cuddled closer to Grimmjow and he in return kissed the top of his head. ". . .Night Grimm," Ichigo whispered not wanting to talk more and hoping that his leaving was just a horrible dream he would wake up from. "Love . . . you," he whispered slipping into unconsciousness.

Grimmjow froze, his breath hitching as he registered the confession that had just been voiced. "Night, Ichi," Grimmjow replied kissing his head again as multiple emotions ran through his veins. "Love ya too,"


	9. Awakened

**I am so glad so many of you liked **** Sorry for such a depressing last chapter but it's needed for the development! Please review!**

* * *

~Chapter 8 - Awakened~

* * *

_The sound of fluttery laughter filled the air making the young boy smile for once; when it was just himself and his mother everything went fine. He watched as she fumbled around with pots and pans and tried to remember when he had last seen her happy. Was it after his real father died? He didn't know, but all he knew was that they used to have it all. Then the red-head came. _

_The young boy glanced up at his mother trying to picture her without the bruises and the sunken eyes but it was such a long time since he had seen her radiant face that he had forgotten. Her hair that used to be golden lay around her shoulders limp and lifeless framing her hollow white cheeks. Her figure, that used to be full of many curves, was now the same width as a twig. He had tried several times to give her back the food she had snuck him when he was locked away but she wouldn't take it. The young boy couldn't help but think that if it weren't for him she would be alright – and in more ways than one. _

_His mother turned to him, a warm smile on her face passing him one of the many failures of cookies she had made knowing that the boy wasn't picky when it came to food. He happily snatched one up, giggling at how burnt the cookie was but eating it anyway. The young delinquent even offered her one but she politely declined. _

_Suddenly a loud, vicious voice that sounded more like a growl rang through the house freezing the two. Slowly, the young boy turned towards the epicentre of the sound and gulped when he heard footsteps approaching. It always happened like this. The red-headed step-father would come and his badass attitude would crumble. He looked up at his mother knowing that if he caught them like this he would do more than lock him in his room. "Go," she said in a firm voice trying to mask her own fear and trying to get her child to safety._

_ The little boy nodded knowing that if he stuck around he would be on the receiving end of the red-heads wrath. Slightly panicked, he ran into the cupboard across from his mother upon hearing the footsteps on the other side of the kitchen door. His mother was just about to protest until the door swung open, the force nearly throwing it off his hinges. The little boy held his hands to his ears not wanting to hear the malicious words being said and would have succeeded too if it weren't for the loud clatter that startled him causing the boy to peek through the keyhole. _

_He watched in newborn anger and disgust as the man headed towards his mother who was now on the floor clutching her red cheek, tears streaming down her face. He had had enough. This time he wasn't going to idly sit by and watch the torture – this time he would cause it. Without thinking, the boy carefully walked out of his hiding place instantly picking up the knife that was lying on the marble counter beside him. Hearing the creaky door, the man spun around surprise registering in his eyes before turning back to rage. "What the fuck are you doing you blue-haired little shit!?" _

_ All he could hear as he plunged forward was his mothers urgent pleas and the sound of his name being called many times over – "Grimmjow!" _

**xxx**

Grimmjow awoke alone and to a cold bed making him growl in both annoyance and loneliness and to make matters worse he had just had a fucked up dream about his past. What made him even more annoyed was that it wasn't just any dream; it was that one moment when he had adopted the feeling bloodlust.

Unfortunately, that moment had ended just as quickly as it had started. That bastard had pulled a quickie and grabbed his mother to avoid being stabbed himself. Luckily, he had swerved and missed cutting a shallow wound into the bastard's side but his punishment was to get the same injury if not worse. Honestly - how did the socials see him as kind and loving!? They were even stupid enough to turn a blind eye to the gaping scar that covered his torso!

Grimmjow yawned, stretched and got up heading downstairs ready to face an angry Ichigo again but widened his eyes when he found no-one. His eyes averted to the white piece of paper that lay on the dining table and smiled at the writing on it. Even in note form he could see the blush and stutter that Ichigo had whilst writing this – Grimmjow wondered for a minute if he remembered the words he had confessed to last night whilst reading the note.

_I'm off to Uni Grimm so sorry I couldn't be here when you leave.__ My numbers at the bottom if you want to stay in contact. . . . Ok then bye!_

Grimmjow laughed remembering the time he was in school. Maybe if he had gone to school the pair would have met in a friendlier environment maybe even gone to the same University together. But that was in the past and he couldn't go back and change it now. Grimmjow sighed and headed back upstairs preparing himself mentally for the day ahead and the 'clean-up' job that no doubt Aizen had ready for him. The real challenge was to hide his emotions and the bloodlust that would no doubt make an appearance during the dirty work. _Brilliant. . . _

**xxx**

Even though it had only been a few days since he had been at the headquarters it still felt foreign to him. Maybe it was the fact that he saw Aizen in a different light now that he had regained emotions, except the challenge for today was to not show emotions. He had spent years being impassive and now from only a few days living with Ichigo he was finding that difficult – he hoped the job wasn't a clean-up job.

If his emotions had come back that also meant the bloodlust he had so heavily been associated with would arrive as well. Although he would never admit it, but secretly he was scared of what might happen; he was scared that he would lose himself to that animalistic desire. Fortunately, just the image of his strawberry had him calming down so he would use that if it ever came to it and there were also his friends. Everyone in the gang had become acquainted with one another all becoming friends mainly because they all roughly understood one another due to their backgrounds. No-one however connected with Aizen – and that was the advantage. If Aizen ever did find anything outrageous about his 'reborn' bloodlust or even that he had fallen in love with a guy, then the gang would happily turn against him to help out a fellow comrade.

Grimmjow stood in front of the rusty old doors stalling himself as if it would prepare him for what was to come until a monotone voice broke through his logic. "Grimmjow? You're not due back until next week," Ulquiorra stated, his green eyes boring into Grimmjow.

The blunette glanced at his best friend and resisted the urge to punch him senseless. "Yeah, well some bastard decided to abandon his position,"

Ulquiorra's lips tilted up slightly, a tiny smirk gracing his face that looked unnatural. "So where were you?" the blunette asked.

"Nowhere," he replied curtly, the faintest pink tint on his cheeks.

Grimmjow smiled at the thought of him meeting with that busty auburn haired chick – the one he had recommended. It was about time he got in on some action! The emo noticed his smile and stepped closer towards him, glancing around before whispering to him. "Remember to be impassive," he reminded him.

"How the fuck do ya know 'bout that!?"

"Urahara Kisuke – he told everyone excluding Aizen and Gin of course. As much as it pains me to say this I'm here for you. . . I mean it,"

For a minute he stood there stunned – he hadn't expected them to so willingly help him. Sure they might turn against Aizen because they hate him but not help because they genuinely liked him. Most of the time he spent his time claiming he was the king and pissed everyone off! Grimmjow patted the man on the shoulder letting him know in his own way that he appreciated it before turning to the doors and pushing them open striding in.

The first thing the blunette saw was a feeble, thin man cowering in the middle of the floor, tucking himself into a tight ball. There were slight pools of blood on the floor but nothing much. This was clearly the job Aizen had in mind. Grimmjow glanced up ahead to see the grinning bastard himself – that one piece of hair still drooping down in between his eyes already pissing him off. "Ah, there you are Grimmjow," he said, pretending to sound happy when no doubt he couldn't give a crap. "I assume you got the message,"

"From ol hat n' clogs? Yeah, I got the message," he replied, smirking internally when he saw Aizen frown at his sudden attitude change before remembering he had to act impassive.

"As you can see, _this _is your 'clean-up' job," he stated referring to the whimpering man on the floor deciding to ignore Grimmjows earlier mistake.

"Method?" asked Grimmjow.

Yes, he had asked for the method. The sadistic asshole was never satisfied with just a quick death. A 'clean-up' job was never what it intentionally sounded like; the mess would get everywhere. Grimmjow hoped he wouldn't have to use a gun again. They were so inaccurate and would make the whole process a lot longer.

Aizen grinned and turned to Gin whose smile was just as broad as Aizens was – although he normally smiled like that. "Pantera," he murmured sending chills down the blunette's back.

He had not used the pure white blade in over two years yet still hearing its name made his blood boil in excitement. Pantera was the name for his sword which he had been given the first day he had arrived. It had seen many deaths and Grimmjow was surprised that Aizen knew about this – _that damn bastard!_

Unconsciously, he let his feet drag him to where Gin was holding a highly decorated case, a teal number six marked on the side to state his rank. Grimmjow lifted the lid to reveal a stunning white blade the guard blue almost matching his hair. Grimmjow yanked the blade out of its velvet case not noticing the glint in Aizen's burnt eyes nor the concerned look Ulquiorra was giving him as he watched from the sidelines. A barely sane grin appeared on his face, his azure eyes almost glowing from excitement. "Go," ordered Aizen, as if giving commands to a dog. "You know what to do," he added.

Only a small nod was seen in agreement before he lifted the man to his feet pushing him up against the wall. Within a flash he had taken a knife from his belt and plunged it into the man's stomach effectively pinning him to the wall, blood instantly spurting everywhere. He could hear a few startled gasps as members of the gang joined Ulquiorra, frozen to the spot as they witnessed there friend being overtaken with bloodlust that they thought he had long banished. He paid no attention to them though. At the minute the animal inside of him was dominant and right now it was toying with its prey.

With blindingly fast speed, he drew the blade across his chest multiple times leaving deep gashes that ripped apart to reveal his insides except carefully missing his internal organs. He could feel Hallibal and Stark moving slightly closer to him on either side but he ignored them for now; if the time came he would gut them too.

The man in front of him was now openly sobbing disgusting Grimmjow and causing him to slit one eye open letting a blood curdling scream fill the room; the blunette's feral grin grew wider before he let his head roll back as an insane laugh left his lips - he was having so much fun.

Aizen stared down at him in curiosity, humming every now and then as if he was having a conversation with himself mentally. "I'll leave the rest to you," he abruptly said spinning on his heel to the door behind his 'throne' taking a rather mortified Gin along with him. Grimmjow shrugged then turned back to the man, his hand curled around the blade as he decided how best to kill him.

He could leave him and let him die of infection and blood loss but he would be hanging around for far too long so, so far cutting his throat seemed a good idea. It was bloody and quick! Just as he was about to execute the move, slender white hands curled around his wrist stopping the movement instantly. With a low snarl, Grimmjow turned towards Ulquiorra ready to rip his head off before he muttered, "Ichigo,"

That name felt like ice cold water running through his veins immediately having the desired effect. He turned his head to where the man now lay withered and limp against the wall and felt the bile rise in his throat at how little he had control over the bloodlust. The sword slipped out of Grimmjow's hand, the old metal weapon clanging loudly on the stone floor. "Let me take care of this," he almost whispered, knowing that right now Grimmjow was torn between finishing what he started and finishing himself.

He gave a barely noticeable nod and hastily walked out the room, feeling everyone's eyes on him as he did making him feel even more disgusted with himself even if they were his friends. He shook his head as if meaning to shake out the memory and grabbed for his phone instantly clicking over the name 'strawberry'. It was such a good thing Ichigo had shyly given away his number because right now he needed to hear his voice, even if he was going to see him later. After the third ring he finally picked up, Grimmjow almost feeling the scowl on the other side of the phone instantly making him feel better. "This better be good, Grimm," he hissed.

It felt so good hearing his honey voice wash over even if he was angry. His voice had the desired effect and calmed him down instantly returning him to his usual self.

"One, even when you're angry you call me Grimm which is cute," he said smirking down the phone. "And two, how do you know it's me? I could be a random stalker who has your phone number,"

Ichigo sighed on the other side of the phone before answering. "One, you just gave yourself away and two I saved your number, "he replied casually.

"Interesting seeing as I never gave you my number," he grinned, practically feeling the heat that radiated off Ichigo and down the phone.

"T-that's n-not - That's b-because! Oh fuck you, you like it and you know it!"

"Wow, talking dirty," he smiled, glad that Ichigo was back to his normal self as well.

"Fuck you now what do you want?"

"Just wanted to hear your voice," he replied honestly, trying not to dampen the mood with the hint of seriousness in his voice.

"Oh," Ichigo mumbled, obviously expecting something else. "You finished at work or have you just got too much time on your hands?"

"Whatever," he scoffed. "And no I'm not done but I should be here a few more hours before heading home," he continued, smirking at the double meaning of 'home'.

"Oh," Ichigo mumbled again, the note of desperation and sadness all too clear. "I-I've got to go, see ya Grimm," he said before the phone was cut off leaving Grimmjow glaring slightly at the phone.

So he was still mad? Well, in a couple of hours he would be swept away - Grimmjow could feel a feral grin grow on his face just thinking about it! _Yep - I'm gonna make him drunk of my love! Let's just hope he's not too mad _he thought as he spent the last few hours contamplainting about the berry and their future life.


	10. Intimacy

**Here it is – A lovely lemony time that deepens their relationship ;) Hope you enjoy because everything will be going to hell soon! **

**Sorry in advance as I am still new to this 'stuff' and this one is a short one!**

* * *

~Chapter 9 - Intimacy~

* * *

'_**Are you ready? X'**_Grimmjow texted Ichigo, a manic smile on his lips as he stood outside the berry's house ready to pounce.

'_**Ready for what? X'**_came his instant reply, Grimmjow noting that he had also sent a kiss that made his heartbeat faster. The blunette didn't bother replying; he found that actions spoke louder than words. He looked up at the house holding the phone close to his chest before shoving it back in his pocket and walking up to the door. He gave three sharp, quick knocks and chuckled quietly when he heard a surprised Ichigo yell "be out in a minute," before hearing a stumble and a crash. Several seconds later Ichigo opened the door, slightly out of breath and his hair dishevelled from the stumble he had taken. "Grimm?" he questioned, his hands immediately going up to fix his hair.

Grimmjow smirked and hugged his jacket leaning in close to the berry's face making him blush from the sudden warmth. "Aren't you going to let me in?" he asked, his nose just brushing against his.

Ichigo nodded rapidly, quickly scooting over so Grimmjow could squeeze past and moved to close the door just as Grimmjow leaned down giving him a quick peck making Ichigo's knees turn to jelly; he smirked and moved into the living room a blushing berry trotting in behind him. "S-so what did you want?" he stuttered, still feeling warm ad giddy from just that one peck.

"I told you that after I went to work I would return home," he started, drawing each word out slowly so the berry got the message.

"But now you're standing here?" he asked in confusion, his face scrunching up as he tried to figure out what he was trying to say – _God this guy could be so stupid._ Here he was confessing his love, a rarity, and the guy had absolutely no clue.

"Ichi," he said, strolling over to him. "This _is _my home,"

Grimmjow watched in amusement as Ichigo's eyes went from confusion to joy in a matter of seconds before masking it with perplexed again. "Are you sure?"

Ichigo quivered as Grimmjow ran his finger along his plump lower lip just aching to reach up and kiss him but he wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream. The blunette looked down into his chocolate orbs, his arms steadily going to his hips drawing him closer. He held his breath as his lips grew nearer, his hot breath caressing his lips the closer they got. Not being able to take the close proximity anymore Ichigo smashed their lips together, teeth crashing angrily as they enjoyed a much needed kiss. Ichigo tangled his hands in the back of his blue hair tugging gently, demanding him to deepen the kiss. Grimmjow smirked into the kiss, and darted his tongue in, instantly making the berry moan in the back of his throat as he explored every inch. He had died and gone straight to heaven. It was amazing how much a kiss could affect him. Eventually the blunette pulled away and grinned at the lust fogging over Ichigo's eyes. "I think that explains my answer," he murmured huskily.

Ichigo nodded before pulling him in again, the urge to have him as close as he could be growing within him. Grimmjow loved the feeling of Ichigo against him; his lips pressing against his, his lithe body wrapped around his. He loved it. He slipped his hands around his thighs; the younger man instantly catching on to what he was doing and wrapped his legs around his waist all whilst holding the passionate kiss. Grimmjow led them to the bedroom, throwing the berry down onto the bed when he finally reached it leaving the latter whimper at the loss. He leant down and nibbled on his jugular area, moaning slightly when Ichigo tangled his hands in his blue locks. "Grimm," he breathed out.

Grimmjow growled slightly at the berry's whore-like moan turning him on even more and ground his hips against Ichigo's roughly. He wanted to hear more. "G-Grimm!"

Hastily, he tugged the berry's jumper over his head letting the other unbutton his top with slightly shaky fingers. Normally he would stop at this action but the blunette was selfish and wasn't going to pass off this moment so easily.

He reached out, grasping a pink nub between his fingers making Ichigo arch up against him, his arousal grinding against Grimmjow's. He leans down and teases Ichigo like this for several minutes, the others panting filling the air around them making Grimmjow want to give in to his animal instinct and fuck him senseless. The smaller male languorously moves his hips, gasping when a hand reaches into his pants. "Fuck sake Grimm, g-get on with it!"

_Who knew Ichi was such a sex beast! _he thought, grinning down at the writhing man.

Carefully, the larger man slides the pants of Ichigo, tossing them onto the pile of other clothes on the floor that lay forgotten. Ichigo blushes slightly but doesn't say anything as Grimmjow runs his hands along his inner thighs gazing into Ichigo's eyes the whole time. "You'll be fine," he reassures him.

Ichigo nods and pulls him back down for a heated kiss. Grimmjow pulls back and shoves his fingers into Ichigo's mouth, the other happily sucking on them covering them in saliva. He watches in joy at the berry's cheeks hollowing as he takes the fingers making the taller man shudder at what else he could be using that sinful mouth for. God, if he had known things would end up like this he would have done it almost immediately!

Finally, he pulls his fingers out and dashes down to catch his lips again keeping the berry occupied as he slips the first finger in pushing past the first ring of muscle effortlessly. Ichigo pulls away from him gasping at the feeling, his fingers digging in to the pillow behind his head. Grimmjow adds the second then third, loving the way Ichigo pants as he gets used to being stretched. He takes it slowly, the thought of hurting him in the back of his mind as he does. Unfortunately, it doesn't take much for his restraint to break. "M-more!" Ichigo breathes.

Grimmjow pulls his fingers out quickly, smirking at the whine Ichigo gives from the loss of heat before he thrusts in causing the man to cry out. "W-why are y-you so . . . ah . . . fucking b-big!" he cries out, his hands tightening around the back of the blunette's neck.

"A complaint?" he smirks. "Would you like me to stop?" he teases making his thrusts shallow earning another whimper from him.

Ichigo tries to grind against him but Grimmjow pulls back refusing until he gets what he wants – it doesn't take long. Just like his self, the younger man is eager to get on with it. "God G-Grimm . . . M-move!"  
He slowly pushes back on Grimmjows sex, his eyes closing as the mix of pain and pleasure takes over him. Grimmjow takes this as an okay and pulls out to move back in quickly and sharply causing the man underneath him to gasp as his prostate is hit dead on; sparks now flying. "Mm. . . G-god Grimm . . . hah!"

Ichigo's breathing is harsh now as pants and moans come out quicker. He wants to turn him over and pound into him but he knows this is probably Ichigo's first time and doesn't want his first time spent in pain.

The larger man glides along Ichigo's body continuing to slam into that delectably tight heat. His hands slide down onto tanned hips and grips them as he ploughs in deeper causing Ichigo to bounce against him wanting more. He leaves one hand on his hip and glides the other down to the berry's neglected member, stroking it making Ichigo arch against him. He only strokes it a few times before the other gasps, his eyes now half-lidded in lust. "I-I'm. . . ah. . . gonna-!"

The blunette nods hastily in understanding and quickens his pace the other crying out as he nears his release. "Fuck Ichi," he murmurs huskily, feeling velvet walls tighten around his aching rod.

The berry shivers as his cum spurts, covering both the men's abdomens, white stars covering his sight. Grimmjow thrusts one more time before releasing into Ichigo, drawing out a quiet and low moan. He pulls out and collapses next to him, both exhausted and overjoyed. "Fuck Ichi," he breathes again, taking the smaller man into his arms letting the other snuggle against him. "I won't be able to hold back next time if you continue to do as ya did,"

He feels warmth against his chest as Ichigo chuckles and looks down to find chocolate orbs glancing up at him. "You could have at least told me you were so fucking big," he pouted.

"You weren't exactly complaining for long though were ya?" he replied, grinning widely.

Ichigo blushes, hiding his face in Grimmjows chest before the blunette feels the steady beat of his heart and quiet snores indicating that he had fallen asleep.

Grimmjow stared up at the ceiling, one arm wrapped around his lover and the other behind his head. He was happy; for the first time in years he felt everything all at once. Happiness, lust, possessiveness; the whole lot. Now that he had Ichigo he was never going to let him go; not that he was going to do that anyway. But even as he lay there next to Ichigo, all he could think about was earlier today, the thick red blood coating his memory. He was going to have nightmares tonight that not even Ichigo could prevent. And he was sure it was just going to get worse.


	11. Will you wake?

**I am so glad that a lot of you liked the last chapter – I was so worried about it! Unfortunately everything's going to start going downhill ;)**

* * *

~Chapter 10 – Will you wake?~

* * *

"Fuck Grimm!" Ichigo moaned for the hundredth time on getting up.

He had discovered that with the joys of sex came a morning full of consequences as Grimmjow had also explained whilst covering up his snigger. After the first round there had been others. Grimmjow only stopped because around about the 6th round he had collapsed! "Come 'ere," he sighed, walking up behind an annoyed berry who was currently trying to make breakfast for them.

Grimmjow began kneading the muscles in his lower back the other leaning against him with a content sigh. Grimmjow leant his head in the crook of Ichigo's neck and breathed in his scent of apple and cinnamon. "Would ya like some aspirin?" he asked nuzzling the others neck. "Ya can have it with a nice hot bath," he continued, feeling the other almost give in – almost.

"I'll be fine Grimm and anyway. . . If I do you'll starve," he chuckled, cracking the eggs as he said it.

The blunette's hands rode up from his back and grasped his middle making the younger man squirm and squeal as he tried to resist laughing. "My cooking is brilliant," he stated, still tickling the berry who now had tears in the corner of his eyes.

"Ok, ok I surrender!" he giggled. "_You_ cook then,"

Grimmjow stared at the ingredients on the table before glancing at Ichigo. So he thought he was funny? "You want me to make omelettes,"

"What? Too hard for you?" he teased.

Grimmjow grabbed Ichigo again and growled playfully into his neck before biting his ear as if it were punishment for being so cocky. "I'll show you," he said and moved the berry aside slightly so he could start cooking, the other watching in amusement as he started cooking breakfast.

Before long the blunette was giving him tips on how to do various things the other astonished with his knowledge and skill in the kitchen. Ichigo watched intently as Grimmjow began adding ingredients to the egg mixture when several shrill rings echoed through the house. "I'll get that," Ichigo said getting up from his chair, hesitant to leave his new lover and the rare chance of watching him working.

Grimmjow continued finishing breakfast but kept a watchful eye and good ear out in case it was a call from Tsukishima. Last time it had left him vulnerable and broken. Apparently he was wrong though. "ICHIGO, MY SON!"

Grimmjow cringed away from the loud voice filling up the room and stared incredulously at the phone and a very red Ichigo. "Shut up you baboon! I got less grief from goat-face than I did you!" he screamed down the phone, fumes literally pouring out his ears and nostrils. "What do you want now!?"

"My my! Have you forgotten what next week is?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and exhaled noisily through his nose wishing he had never told the perverted old man. "Urahara, for the last time I am not going over with you and Yoruichi!"

"BUT MY SON, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!"

"I KNOW THAT BUT I MAY HAVE PLANS ON THAT DAY!" he screamed back frustrated.

"Ichigo," he replied, Grimmjow noting the seriousness. "I don't want you to forget another-," "I'll be fine, for shit sake, Grimm's with me this time,"

"Jeagerjacques is with you now – this early?"

Grimmjow waited as a certain silence settled over the room including the room on the other side of the phone. "Did you and Grimmjow-?"

"I'm hanging up," Ichigo announced knowing where the old man was going.

"OH! MY SON HAS FINALL-!"

Ichigo slammed down the phone, cursing under his breath making the blunette chuckle. Grimmjow watched as Ichigo hobbled over to the table, sitting down with a rather large huff of embarrassment and exasperation. "I didn't know it was ya birthday?" he commented, placing a plate down in front of him, his mind replaying the 'forget' bit – _What happened last time? _

"You heard, huh?"

"Ichi, the whole friggin' town heard,"

Ichigo chuckled but his eyes were not smiling at all as he lifted a forkful of omelette into his mouth. "Wow! You _can _cook!" he exclaimed, averting his eyes from the azure ones that pierced into him.

"Ichi," he warned. "Stop changing the subject,"

Ichigo lowered his fork in defeat knowing full well he couldn't lie to the man and glanced up before revealing his date of birth. "It's the 15th," he muttered, avoiding eye contact again.

Grimmjow nodded and made a mental note to get him a present; that was before he remembered the story he had been told in the hospital. "I'm taking its Shiro's birthday as well," he asked quietly as the berry stabbed at his breakfast.

"Yeah . . .,"

Grimmjow bit his lip at the silence and wanted to smack himself for pursuing the topic. He would make sure Ichigo remembered this year not because of what happened years ago but because for once he would spend it with someone else – hopefully someone who made him feel happy. Grimmjow smiled at the thought causing the other to cock his head to one side in confusion at the blunette's weird behaviour. "You ill?" he asked, knowing that the feline-like man never genuinely smiled – at least not in the morning when he was usually cranky. (Even if he had just got his way the night before!)

Grimmjow sat down opposite the berry and began eating his breakfast still with the same smile on his face. "Grimm, you're beginning to creep me out," he stated, pulling him in closer for inspection and to poke his cheek for a reaction.

When the blunette didn't take his finger in his mouth or growl in annoyance he unconsciously leaned forward so their foreheads touched, a frown etched on his face. "It doesn't feel like you have a fever,"

Grimmjow chuckled at the berry's concern and dived forward capturing his mouth quickly tasting the strawberry before pulling away. Ichigo worried too much. "31st," he said.

Ichigo, who was still red, partially recovered from his daze enough to form a 'coherent' response. "Huh!?"

"My birthday is the 31st of July," he stated slowly, close to spelling out each word.

Ichigo's eyes lit up and he looked as if he was just about to say something before the retched phone went again making him roll his eyes instead. Would they never have five minutes alone? "That better not be Urahara," he muttered darkly, getting up and abandoning the rest of the omelette.

"Why _are _you in contact with that creep?" he asked; not just because he was suspicious of the guy but because he was generally curious.

"He was a friend of my dad's, same as Tsukishima – oh talking of which," he said looking down at the caller ID for once. "Hello Tsukishima," he chirped.

Grimmjow smiled at how much Ichigo was glowing and grabbed the plates about to put them in the sink when he saw Ichigo's body literally freeze – his lips beginning to quiver. Grimmjow quietly put down the plates and watched in agony, his shoulders tensing every-time Ichigo answered with a half-sob. After several minutes of painful silence, each filled with occasionally with sniffles, Ichigo made a move to hang up. "Ok, t-thank you Tsukishima," he stuttered before placing the phone down with a soft click.

"Ichigo? Are you ok?" he asked, moving to stand in front of the inanimate man, taking his hands in his. "H-he's waking up," he mumbled numbly, as if testing out the words to see if they were real.

Grimmjow's eyes widened taking in the information when the smaller man shouted out in glee wrapping his arms around his neck. "He's waking up!"

The blunette chuckled heartily and tightened his grip on Ichigo letting the other bury his head in his neck as he started processing the news. "Apparently his vitals became steady and he began to breathe without the machine all of a sudden!" he rambled glancing up at Grimmjow, his eyes alight with hope.

"When are you going to see him?" he asked, holding the berry out at arm's length to wipe away small tears that had formed when he was listening to the phone call.

"Oh, I don't know. I didn't really tell him," he said biting his lip.

"Well then we're going now," he insisted, already dragging him to the door.

"Wai- Grimm you don't have to come and anyway it can wait unt-!"

Grimmjow silenced the man with a kiss and threw a scarf over his neck pulling him closer before pulling away. "You are going now," he urged, bending down slightly to look him in the eyes. "I will always be there for you no matter what happens," he added to reassure him.

Ichigo smiled and pulled him down for another kiss, the blunette slipping a jacket over Ichigo's shoulders as he did so. "Ready to say hello to your brother?" he grinned.

Ichigo smiled back holding Grimmjows hand tightly as he led him outside. "Yes,"

**xxx**

"No . . . I can't . . .,"

"Yes ya can, I'll be here outside if anything happens," Grimmjow reassured Ichigo, who was staring in at his brothers body, hand entwined with Grimmjow's tightly.

They had entered the hospital and had made it to the elevator fine, just talking about the possibilities and even about his twin giving him some sort of blessing. But now they were in front of his door Ichigo was getting panicky.

"You're not coming in with me!?" he exclaimed, turning to face him.

"If he does wake up he doesn't want to see me does he?"

Ichigo opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, defeated. "What if I freak out?" he whispered.

"If ya really want me there then call and I'll come," he insisted.

Ichigo nodded. "Thanks Grimm," he smiled, standing on his tiptoes to give him a quick kiss before taking a deep breath and walking in to the room.

Grimmjow smiled as he watched Ichigo through the window, walking up as if the albino were just asleep. He hadn't told him but he had researched on methods to restore people in comas and speeding up healing processes that the brain uses. After finding enough material he had given it to Tsukishima telling him to try them out as non- were harmful; looks like it was working. "Oi! Blueberry," an obnoxious voice called out breaking him out of his small heaven.

Grimmjow turned to the familiar voice and his face broke out in a feral grin. _Well, what da ya know! _"Spoon-head!"

Grimmjow watched as a lanky 7'0 man came strolling up to him, his black shoulder length hair swinging as he shook his head in astonishment. "Is the famous Grimmjow Jeagerjacques finally in hospital!?"

"Nah, I have a reputation to keep up. 'Sides, I'm here with my boyfriend," he explained, resisting the urge to do summersaults at the word 'boyfriend'.

Nnoitra Gilga, a former member of the 'Espada' gang, threw his head back in laughter and slapped the blunette on the back. "You are joking aren't you? Or is this 'boyfriend' a one night stand stress relief?"

Grimmjow chuckled darkly, glaring at the rude man. "No,"

Nnoitra smiled and pulled out a cigarette lighting it before placing the cancerous stick between his cracked lips; still had no respect for his health and the rules. "I know – just messing with ya," he said before adding "You've got more emotions - besides the pompous ass you were when I left," when Grimmjow gave him a quizzical look.

"Remember that old guy Baraggan who was around the same time as Kugo?" he posed.

"Yeah,"

"He made a mumbo-jumbo prophecy that the day you experience 'shit' again would be the day of Aizen's downfall and stuff like that,"

"Sounds more like a sarcastic retort," he grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

The blunette quickly peeked through the window checking out the berry when a large shoulder pushed against him. "That him?" he asked, staring at the boys back. "Whoa, look at that hair!"

Grimmjow chuckled and snatched the cigarette taking a drag before handing it back. "You seem a lot happier now," Nnoitra commented, noticing Grimmjow's casual smile.

Grimmjow nodded resisting the urge to broaden his smile. "I am," he replied, glancing in on the berry. "Listen, the other stuff was about you two dying before finally being together,"

What was this random stuff about? Nnoitra never listened to this sort of crap unless he was sure it was true! Grimmjow shrugged his shoulders and leant against the wall. "You actually believe that crap?"

"Grimmjow," he said addressing him directly, a serious expression on his face. "Everything else he's said has been true – I'm worried for ya,"

Grimmjow's eyes widened slightly at his friend's sober mood. _Crap, _he thought. He hated it when people got all serious especially if it wasn't exactly in their nature. "Ulquiorra told me about what happened yesterday," he mumbled.

"He did, did he? Thought he might," Grimmjow replied scratching his head at the problem at hand.

Urahara had told him what to do if Aizen found out about his bloodlust and Ichigo. He didn't tell him what to do though if he couldn't control that bloodlust. "Grimmjow – if that's anything to go by then it will happen soon,"

Grimmjow nodded knowing that he would have to speak to Urahara about this later although knowing him he no doubt had heard of this so called 'prophecy' made by Baraggan already. "What's ha-,"

Grimmjow was cut off when a high-pitched squeal sounded next to his ear and a pair of strong arms encircled his middle. "GRIMMY! IT IS YOU!"

Grimmjow sighed and turned to look at the woman molesting him throwing her off soon after. Of course she was here. You get Nnoitra then you get her. "Hi Nel,"

"That's no way to treat a lady, Grimmy!" she shouted, pouting her lips and dusting off the non-existent dirt from her top.

Nnoitra sniggered and watched as his former co-partner lectured Grimmjow on how to behave, very much like she did with the lanky man; although this time she was refraining from hitting. "Is that smoke I smell on you?" she asked him, her eyes sobering to serious; the only other expression she wore when it wasn't childish.

Her green curls bounced as her head whipped around to face Nnoitra; a deadly gaze settling over him enough to suffocate anyone. "You better not be smoking again,"

Nnoitra quickly hid the still burning cigarette behind his back and shook his head frantically glaring at Grimmjow who was suppressing a smirk. Nel stepped forward and leaned on Nnoitra, her massive chest rubbing against his stomach as she tried to smell his breath. "Open," she demanded, her voice monotone.

Nnoitra shook his head again and pointed at Grimmjow who shrugged making the tall man twitch in annoyance. Not being able to take Grimmjows lack of compliance he opened his mouth and spoke. "It was Grimmjow," he whined, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Your breath stinks," was Nel's reply before a fist connected with his jaw.

Grimmjow sniggered whilst the poor man continued to be beaten to a pulp before the thought '_rip him limb from limb!' _crossed his mind forcing him to pull the two apart. "What's the big idea!?" Nel screamed but stopped when she saw the expression in his eyes; it was getting worse. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Grimmjow averted his gaze and peeked through the window thinking of ways to lighten the mood instead of thinking about how to kill people. "So . . . Why are you in here anyway? Don't tell me you let Kenpachi beat you up again,"

Nnoitra picked up on what he was doing and joined in not wanting to give the man more grief. "Actually no," he replied, glaring at Nel who was swiping a hand across her neck at him. "This piece of shit," he said pointing at her, "beat me up because I was talking to Ulqui,"

"You could have been caught," she hissed.

"You guys still on the run from Aizen?" he asked in surprise, thinking that after a year Aizen would have given up.

Nnoitra had been the first of many in the Espada gang to stand up against Aizen's cruel ways, Nel supporting him in his rebellion. This was the couple that had fallen madly in love. However, Nel sustained a massive head injury in the fight causing them both to retreat and run. The rest, like Ulquiorra and Stark, had only stayed because they knew over time they would find a way to end him. And not a clean ending.

"Yeah – bloody nuisance as well,"

Grimmjow sighed - there was a flaw in Urahara's plan then. If in the end he would have to run then Aizen would more than willingly to spend tens of years looking for him. Grimmjow couldn't afford that. He couldn't afford leaving Ichigo alone and vulnerable for that amount of time. Grimmjow was afraid that in just under one year, Aizen would have the capabilities of tracking down Ichigo. _Maybe I should just -! _"Grimmjow Jeagerjacques don't you dare!" Nel shouted, holding up by the collar.

"Wh-what!? I didn't say anything!"

"You were thinking it!" she roared back.

"Nel – let him go," Nnoitra calmly asked, seeing the small tears gather in the corner of her eyes.

"No – Grimm . . . it will never come down to that. Me, Nnoi and the whole damn Espada group will make sure of that even if it kills _us_ first!"

Grimmjow's eyes widened as he took in Nel's distraught state over the matter and stroked her head. "Nel – I wasn't thinking that," he lied.

"You're such a liar," she mumbled, letting go of his collar. "Think about what it will do to him," she said, glancing over at the bundle of orange on the other side of the door.

"I wasn't thinking that," he repeated numbly, staring down at the floor.

Nel looked at him sadly and nodded, dragging Nnoitra by the arm as a signal to leave him be when a scream of panic echoed down the halls. "GRIMM!"

Grimmjow rushed to the door turning back to face Nel and Nnoitra. "Watch yourselves," he said.

They both nodded. "You too – I mean it," Nel replied, still unsure about his lie.

Grimmjow nodded hastily and threw the door open, immediately rushing over to Ichigo whose face was sodden with tears as he clutched his brothers hand. "H-he's waking up," he stuttered, his eyes wide like a deer trapped in head-lights. "H-he's gripping . . . my hand," he panicked.

Grimmjow entwined his hand with Ichigo's free one and looked him in the eye wiping away his tears. "Calm down," he ordered quietly. "You've been waiting for this moment for less than 4 years," he continued, seeing Ichigo shake his head.

"What if he doesn't recognise me?" he replied meekly, his hand shaking in Grimmjow's.

"He will,"

"But what if he doesn't!?" he asked starting to panic again.

"Shut it will ya, Ichi? If he say's I will . . . I will,"

Ichigo froze taking in the raspy voice that had just spoken to him and turned around to see brilliant golden eyes on black sclera. The soft fall of snow as his hair moved with his head. "Shiro,"

"Hey, Ichi," he smiled gently. "Long time no see . . .,"


	12. Can I start being happy now?

**Please review more guys; you're opinions are like my fuel :3 Enjoy x**

* * *

~Chapter 11 - Can I start being happy again?~

* * *

"Shiro . . . ,"

He knew Grimmjow, the blue-haired man was watching Ichigo in concern and he knew that Ichigo noticed too. But all Ichigo could do was collapse next to his dear brother and sob his name as he clung tightly to his hospital gown. The albino smiled down at him and slowly moved his hand to rest it on the crying man's head. He couldn't move his arm far due to his muscles that had begun to decompose over time, but seeing his brother again had given him all the strength he needed. "Shiro . . . S-Shiro you baka!" he cried, clenching his eyes tight to force the tears to stop.

Shiro gave him a sad smile, disgusted at himself for leaving Ichigo to deal with such a mess. "I'm sorry, Ichi," he rasped out, still trying to get his voice to work after 4 years. "I tried to rip that bastard's throat out,"

Ichigo looked up at him, his chocolate orbs wavering from all the tears. "I-I don't care," he mumbled, clinging onto his hand.

"Sorry, I missed all your birthdays and graduation,"

Ichigo smiled slightly, happy to hear his brother's voice again even if it was strained. "Ya know though – all that shit 'bout people bein' able ta hear an' stuff when they're in a coma . . . turns out it's not shit after all,"

Ichigo's eyes widened taking in what Shiro had just said and hugged him closer wishing now that if he had know he would have tried holding his hand more; letting him know he wasn't alone. "All those stories ya told me – hilarious," he said, trying to laugh, "Ya sure kept me entertained!"

It was true that he could hear everything that was going on around him; he wasn't just lying to make Ichigo feel better. The first few weeks were heart-wrenching when all he would hear was Ichigo's muffled sobs as he sat stroking his snow white locks. What was even more heart-wrenching was when he came by every-day as if it were a regular routine.

Shiro was grateful that he had all those stories to listen to but none of them were filled with friends. It was just his problems. Often Shiro would abuse his mind wishing it would hurry up and heal or at least give him the ability to move and speak because that was the worst part. He was just a statue with a boy talking at him. He wanted to squeeze back on his hand, laugh at his jokes and for once, even if it was a second, open his eyes and look at that orange hair again. A few times he would wake up from a nightmare and for a split second forget what he looked like – that was horrible. Then Ichigo would come by and just his voice would bring him memories but it was still a daily fear. But it was a few days ago that really made him want to get up and embrace him.

"_I should be dead," _

Those words rang in his head and he felt his heart literally stop. Never once in all those years had Ichigo even mentioned what happened and then one day he enters with a stranger, confesses what he feels and says that. It tore him apart. Shiro squeezed Ichigo's hand as hard as he could and gave the man a stern look. "Don't ya ever say again that ya deserve ta die," he whispered.

Ichigo averted his gaze in shame and let his head fall onto the albino's chest where he could hear the reassuring thud of his heart. "Sorry,"

Shiro closed his eyes briefly before opening them again and glancing at the blue-haired man in the corner. You could tell he felt like he shouldn't be imposing at such a time but you could also see the happiness in his eyes from just watching. There was no mistaking the love he felt for him. "Oi, Grimmjow," he said, remembering his name.

Grimmjow's eyes snapped to him waiting for the onslaught of words that would send him packing. "Thanks,"

Grimmjow's eyes widened slightly trying to take in what he had just said. "Thanks," he said again. "Fer looking after Ichi,"

Grimmjow gave a minor grin and glimpsed at Ichigo who was blushing fiercely. "Is that why ya didn't visit fer a few days?" he asked, grinning manically when the other blushed a deeper red.

It was true he was happy about Ichigo finally finding someone but it still didn't stop the intense fear he had felt that day when the berry hadn't shown up. "Thanks fer the souvenir by the way," he added, his arm slowly moving to rest beside the warm fur of the white wolf toy. "Did ya get this at the fair ya friends wanted ya ta go to?"

"Yeah," he replied smiling. "Grimm helped me get it," he added.

"Grimm?"

Ichigo glanced down at his lap and fiddled with his fingers, not wanting to meet either man in the eye. "Y-yeah? What's wrong with that?"

The albino shook his head, a wide smirk on his face. "Nothing. Does this mean you two went on the Ferris wheel together?" he asked; a curious and mischievous glint in his eye. He always loved a good cliché romance.

"We didn't," he mumbled, his blush dying down rapidly.

Shiro, noticing where he went wrong, exhaled noisily and if it weren't for the lack of muscles in his arm, would have pinched the bridge of his nose. "Right then,"

"Shiro?"

"Go,"

"Shiro what are-!?"

"Go, take Grimmjow with ya, and 'ave fun on that Ferris wheel," he winked.

"But, what about y-,"

"Ichi!" Shiro whined. "I will be fine," he reassured him, knowing that it must be hard to leave when he was now awake and most definitely alive – he knew that if it were him he wouldn't leave.

Shiro shared a quick look with Grimmjow who nodded and grabbed Ichigo's hand. "C'mon berry – let's go have fun,"

Ichigo sighed and allowed himself to be dragged away. "Bye Shiro-nii," he called behind his shoulder before Grimmjow pushed him out the door.

"Do ya love 'im?" Shiro asked just as Grimmjow had walked out.

The blunette spun around, a small but feral grin on his face. "Fuck yeah,"

Shiro smiled and he knew (don't ask him how) that they had already gone to _that _extent. Yeah, he and Grimmjow would get along just fine. "Go get 'im,"

The last thing Shiro saw before falling into a peaceful sleep – one that he would actually wake up from – was the image of his baby brother getting frisky on a Ferris wheel. _Gah, what a dirty mind I 'ave. _

"For the last time – stop poutin'!"

Ichigo's lips moved out even more, mocking the blunette as they walked hand in hand towards the neon coloured Ferris wheel earning another cheeky peck on the lips. Throughout the duration of the journey, the berry had constantly been knawing at his lip, looking back as if he could see the hospital and even 'breaking' Grimmjow's fingers. The blunette understood that after four years he would want to stay with his brother making sure nothing ever happened to him again but he needed freedom. And besides . . . even the white haired man had agreed to it even if it was with a weird kinky wink. (He and Shiro would get on just fine!) "Do you think he'll be alright?" Ichigo asked for the thousandth time.

"Yes – now stop worrying! You're supposed to be havin' fun,"

Ichigo looked up at the bright lights surrounding the frame and blinked rapidly. "I never remembered it being this high," he mumbled, biting down on his lip when he saw the queue moving forwards.

"You're scared of heights?" he snorted.

"No!" he exclaimed quickly. "There's just a lot of bad memories' surrounding it," he added quietly.

Grimmjow nodded and turned to stand in front of him, hands on either side of his flushed face. "Then let's start making good ones," he murmured leaning down for a kiss.

Ichigo wrapped his arms around Grimmjow, leaning into the kiss about to grant the man further access when an awkward cough interrupted them. Ichigo pulled away panting slightly and smiled apologetically at the man beside the next carriage whilst Grimmjow just growled at being interrupted and pushed past dragging the berry with him.

The attendant, still slightly flushed, moved aside so the couple could move into the small carriage. Grimmjow sat opposite the berry, wanting to see his face when he spoke those important words to him. The blunette reached across and grabbed his hands as the Ferris wheel began to move. Despite his embarrassment and the heat from the midday sun, his hands were as cold as ice – He had no idea what bad memories conjured in his mind when he was near a Ferris wheel but he bet it had something to do with Shiro and his family. As the wheel neared the top, Ichigo had begun to shake and had resulted in closing his eyes. "Ichigo," Grimmjow murmured, rubbing small circles on the back of his hand with this thumb.

Ichigo shook his head rapidly and clenched his eyes tighter. Grimmjow closed the gap between them and rubbed his nose against the others. "Ichi . . . Open ya eyes – the view's beautiful,"

Grimmjow rested his fingers under Ichigo's chin and turned it so he was looking outside the window. Slowly, Ichigo unclenched his eyes, widening them in awe when he gazed at the sight below.

The midday sun was shining down on everyone below making the shiny objects shine bright like diamonds. It felt like he was a giant looking down at all his intricately designed toys. The sky was lit with oranges as the end of the day approached literally turning the clouds into candy floss. Grimmjow was right; the view was beautiful.

Ichigo turned to Grimmjow and his breath caught in his throat at the heart-throbbing sight. The sun was lit across his face showing his prominent lips and chiselled jaw-line. The light also shone into his eyes lighting up his azure orbs making them even more breath-taking them normal; he enjoyed this view better than the one below. It reminded him just how much he loved him. "Ichi," he whispered, gazing into his eyes.

Ichigo wrapped his arms around his neck as the blunette moved towards him, resting his head against his neck letting his warm breath caress his skin as he spoke the next few words. "I love you . . .,"

He felt Ichigo's body go stiff underneath his as the berry processed the news. Grimmjow stayed where he was his breathing starting to pick up as he pondered what was going through Ichigo's head. Did he not love him back? Or was this just the wrong time considering he had just got his brother back?

Eventually after what seemed a lifetime, Ichigo relaxed in his arms and kissed the top of his blue mane making the man smile. Grimmjow lifted his head and gazed at his lover feeling at that moment in time that nothing could break them apart. "I love you," he murmured again, chuckling when the berry blushed.

Grimmjow leaned forward capturing his lips and for once shared a gentle kiss. They didn't do anything other than that which would later disappoint Shiro when they revealed this. But right now all that was needed was that perfect moment of serenity as far below the madman sat on his throne preparing for the next move. The smiling man from behind the building looked up at the carriage on behalf of his 'king' and frowned at the sight before him – this was something he would need to report . . . No matter how much he hated it.


	13. The Awakened Beast

**The plot is thickening drastically! Don't forget to review – Enjoy! :)**

* * *

~Chapter 12 – The Awakened Beast~

* * *

It was in the dark of night when Nnoitra Gilga broke in to the base he had once called home. Anyone would have thought that his enormous size would count as a disadvantage but so far he had taken down six guards and slipped past a further three all without drawing attention to himself. He was on a roll.

Seeing Grimmjow and the new life in his eyes had rekindled Nnoitra's fire to hunt down and seek revenge on the person who was making his own life a misery. With all the help from the inside it wasn't much of an effort to locate and enter the shabby looking place; he was glad Nel had so many contacts. It was any wonder these people wanted to help him. Nel was always the serious one who barely showed her fun side and he was just a person interested in a good fight.

The tall man glanced at the heavily decorated doors in front of him and grinned - he had located that bastard Aizens chambers. Nel had told him not to kill him yet – that had to be reserved for the right time and where everyone could see. After all, she wanted to make sure everyone had an equal chance in making him suffer. Nnoitra rolled his eyes at her lack of bloodlust but nevertheless he would listen to her otherwise he would get another beating and anyway she had never been wrong before. "Lord Aizen – I have news,"

Nnoitra slipped through the shadows and closer to the door peeking through the small crack in it to see Gin, his usual grin faltered slightly. He had always hated that creep; no-one knew what side he was on but they kept their distance anyway. It was a surprise to see him so serious. "What about?" a tired voice answered.

The tall mans eye swivelled to the corner of the room where the brunette stood, acting all high and mighty as he slipped out his clothes made of silk and satin. He resisted the urge to pounce at him and continued listening to this so called news. "It's about Grimmjow,"

Nnoitra froze, his blood running cold when he saw the glacial grin gracing Aizens lips. "Go on,"

Gin gulped and continued clearly uncomfortable with giving such news. Maybe he hated him just as much as the others? "He has been spotted with a man named Kurosaki Ichigo – he is believed to be his . . . lover,"

Aizens smile grew wider as he sat down on the horrible thing he called a throne and rested his head in his hand clearly amused and unfazed by the news. _Why the fuck is he smiling? – What else does he know? _Nnoitra's mind screamed. "Good," he replied. "Everything is going to plan,"

_What fucking plan!? _he thought. _What the fuck does he want with them? _"Ah, Nnoitra you're here,"

_Shit, did I say that out loud? _Nnoitra moved slowly back into the shadows preparing for any hidden guards to leap out at him but was surprised when none came. "Tell, Grimmjow I said hi," he called out mockingly as the tall man sprinted back down the hallway and into the dark night. He had to warn Grimmjow – he was in serious danger.

**XXX**

"I hate ya,"

Grimmjow growled as Ichigo laughed down the phone before finally pulling himself together. He was sure the berry was doing this just to piss him off so that he could have fun. "Just go straight ahead and then turn right – it's not that hard,"

"Why did I have to go get the groceries anyway?"

"Because you volunteered," he deadpanned.

"Ever heard of sarcasm?"

"Just get back here quickly otherwise I won't be able to cook dinner tonight,"

Grimmjow grunted in reply and muttered and okay before pressing the 'end call' button. He looked up at the dark sky above and cursed at it – it was the middle of freaking summer and yet it still acted as if it was winter.

Grimmjow hauled the shopping over one shoulder and pressed on wanting nothing more than a hot meal and perhaps a little more than sleeping tonight. He had a massive grin on his face contemplating different ways to ravish the berry when a loud and obnoxious voice cut him off. "Oi, bastard! Ready for a second beating!?"

Grimmjow turned around looking into the gloomy alleyway and let a manic smile spread across his face. "Last time I checked, you were the one being beaten up,"

The pig stepped out of the shadows, his usual stick insects absent this time from his side. Looks like this guy wanted a fight but didn't bring others so they could see his inevitable fail. "Did the rest abandon ya after they found out what a pussy ya are?" he asked

Grimmjow stared excitedly as the fat man's face grew irritated and pissed off just before he cracked his knuckles. "I don't need them to beat the shit outta ya!" he screamed, his anger getting the better of him.

With flexibility the blunette didn't think he had, he swung his leg up landing a kick on the grocery back near his shoulder splitting the bag and effectively emptying the contents onto the floor. "Ya missed," he smirked. "Now what's Ichi gonna cook with," he mumbled to himself.

The man looked at him incredulously, listening to his ramblings and wondering what the hell had changed the others attitude to fighting suddenly.

"Ya need to pay,"

The pig recovered his mind and could only stare as the panther like man charged at him, his azure eyes glowing like a cats. The last thing Grimmjow's rational part of the brain thought was '_shit_' before the beast within was unleashed.

One sturdy and strong hand clamped around the others thick neck and squeezed laughing at how the others eyes slowly popped open as he struggled for breath. "I told ya," he reminded him, clenching his hand tighter. "If it were a real fight - I would win,"

The pig lifted his knee harshly into Grimmjows groin making him loosen his grip enough for the other to push away and run past him. Running as fast as his little legs could take him, he quickly looked behind to see the weird blunette inspecting his finger nails as he spoke - "Che – Ya thought ya could actually escape,"

His eyes widened at the bone-chilling threat and he ran faster, his breath coming out short and raspy from his damaged throat. He was sure he had purple blotches in the shape of fingers around his neck. The sound of footsteps grew louder behind him making him want to scream.

Suddenly the world went spinning as his feet were knocked from beneath him, making him land on the concrete with a heavy thud. Grimmjow threw his head back and howled in laughter as he watched the pathetic man try to crawl away. "Where's ya big ego now!?" he yelled stamping down on the man's leg; a humongous crack resounding around them as well as a scream.

Grimmjow's eyes lit up at the sound of his feeble screams making him stamp on every bone he could feel underneath all the flab. It was a shocker that no-one had heard his wailings and gone out to see what the entire ruckus was. Not that he cared at the moment.

Eventually however, the man could take no more pain and was sobbing rather than screaming – God he hated sobbing. He kicked the useless man over and his lips pulled up into a snarl at the wet streaks running down his face. "Ya're no fun,"

With a quick blow and large snap, the blunette broke his neck effectively stopping his blubbering. He bent down and picked up the remaining food that hadn't been destroyed in the fall and walked off leaving the mangled man in the shadows of the alley-way for his fellow friends to find.

Nnoitra stepped out of the shadows slightly, his face one of pure shock as he watched the big man leave. He knew he should have stopped him but his body was frozen as he watched the man submit to his bloodlust. Grimmjow inclined his head back glancing back down the alleyway – Nnoitra quickly darted back against the wall and waited for the man to move.

Grimmjow turned his head back around and carried on walking. _Stupid man, _he thought a feral grin still on his face. He kept walking until he found the house again, the groceries dropping to the floor once he walked inside. He no longer had an appetite for food. "Ichi," he called out.

"Grimm? What took you so long - I was getting worried," he said, popping his head around the corner.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing the berry's face drop and his eyes turn to a glare – _oh well, the feistier the better. _

"What happened to the groceries," he shouted gesturing to the pile of food on the floor and then looked back at Grimmjow's grinning face making him even angrier. "Fine, starve! See if I care!" he yelled, storming back into the living room.

Grimmjow wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his head in his neck, starting to nibble the berry. "I can eat you," he drawled huskily.

Normally, Ichigo would be turned on by his dirty talk and abandon his anger. But the nibbling at his neck was bordering on uncomfortable and painful making him wonder if the man was actually going to eat him. Ichigo was wondering what the hell had gotten into him when harsh bites were administered to his neck. "Grimm, stop it," he said, keeping his voice stern as he pulled out of the man's arms.

He let out a yelp as he was pushed roughly into the wall. Ichigo looked up fearfully at Grimmjow noting that his bright eyes had darkened considerably and his usual smirk was twisted into one that looked almost animalistic. He whimpered a bit as the blunette held his wrists above his head using one hand, the other pressed to his side. Ichigo let out a hiss of pain as Grimmjow began to sink his teeth into his neck no doubt drawing blood. "Grimm! Let me go – you're hurting me!"

Grimmjow snarled against his neck biting down hard onto the exposed flesh as punishment. Ichigo cried out as his wrists were gripped tighter, feeling as though they would snap any minute. Grimmjow's other hand began roaming his body, his sharp nails running across Ichigo's skin like claws. Ichigo resisted the urge to shudder as one nail traced circles on his cheek, pressing down sharply once every so often. "Grimmjow stop!" he yelled.

Ichigo gasped as his nail finally drew blood leaving a thin and long scarlet line across his delicate cheek. At Ichigo's pain filled gasp, Grimmjow's bloodlust state snapped like a dry twig making him gaze upon his lover with wide eyes before withdrawing his grasp and stepping far away. Ichigo brought his hand up to his face and gingerly touched the cut, pressing himself further into the wall when it came away with blood. "Ichi . . .I-," he stepped forward, his hand outstretched.

"Don't . . . touch me!" he cried out hoarsely.

Grimmjow flinched back, his eyes never leaving the red line that seemed to call out and mock his lack of control. He watched as Ichigo hurriedly retreated upstairs, his whole body shaking in fear as he left Grimmjow standing mortified at his actions. "Shit," he cursed, slamming his fist against the wall.

What had he done!? He had vowed to himself that Ichigo would never be on the receiving end of his other life let alone his long lost bloodlust. He didn't even know why the sight of that greasy slob had sparked his interest; maybe it was the feeling of revenge. But even if it was the bloodlust, it had never lasted that long especially in the presence of someone he loved. He had learned to control it around his mother before she killed herself – or was that when he had stopped trying?

A loud ping from his phone stopped his running thoughts. He looked down at the new text and sighed in frustration – _What the hell does he want!? _Grimmjow sighed in frustration and walked outside only to find a firm fist in his face. "What the hell!?" he shouted, glaring at the tall, lanky man who had just put a bruise on his chiselled jaw.

"You bastard!" he yelled back. "I warned you about this!"

Grimmjow stopped in his tracks and looked at Nnoitra who was literally seething with anger despite that his eyes were filled with concern and sorrow. _Did he overhear what happened inside? _"What do you mean?" he asked, pretending to act dumb.

"You're lucky I cleaned up after you – If Aizen found out you now he might link it to you – and what about Ichigo!"

"What the fuck are ya on about!?"

"The guy you murdered in the alleyway!"

Grimmjow reeled back taking in the news; he had forgotten. His mind had been so caught up in the bloodlust that he had not remembered at all what happened once he regained his sanity. After all, he was caught up with the fact that he had hurt Ichigo. Grimmjow rushed to Nnoitra grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "Why the fuck didn't ya stop me!?" he roared, the realisation that he had killed another person finally sinking in.

Nnoitra looked into the blunette's slightly blurred eyes and hung his head in shame. In truth, the 5th highest ranking ex-Espada had been paralyzed to the bone with fear when he had witnessed the horrendous act. There was no simple way around it – he saved his own neck.

Grimmjow released the man knowing the unspoken truth and slumped against the brick wall in defeat. The tall, lanky man sighed and pulled a cigarette packet out his back pocket before handing it to Grimmjow. "I don't need your pity ya know," he said, lighting the small cancer stick and placing it to his mouth. "I'm fine," he lied.

"I know," Nnoitra answered, lying as well as he stared at the man with concern. "I actually came here to say that . . . Aizen knows,"

"What do ya mean?" he asked, trying to hide the fact he was trembling with fear; something he had never felt.

"Seeing you get all touchy-feely again made me get off my pompous ass and start bringing revenge to that dick Aizen," he commented, earning a small smirk from Grimmjow. "Anyway . . . I managed to sneak into his chambers only to hear him gathering information from 'smiley'."

"Gin?" he said, wrinkling his nose. "What the fuck has he got that Aizen wants to hear?"

Nnoitra gulped before replying. "Gin had somehow got information that you and Ichigo were together – Aizen replied saying that it was finally going according to his plan,"

"That's bulls-!"

Grimmjow was cut off when the small device in his pocket began ringing, sending small vibrations along his thigh. Grimmjow snarled lowly and grabbed the mobile phone out of his pocket opening up a text from the grinning cat himself. He froze, as his fingers scrolled down the screen, the words jumbling in his brain as he tried to process the news. "He wants to see you, doesn't he?"

The blunette gave a tiny nod, his wide eyes still franticly wide as he re-read the text. "How the hell did he even find out?"

"I don't know," the tall man shrugged. "Either way – you need to start thinking about your alibi,"

He watched as the blunette began tearing his hair out mentally and sighed at the lack of help he was being. "I'll be off," he waved, thinking that maybe he needed space.

"Thanks Nnoi,"

Nnoitra gave a minute grinned and continued walking; he was sure he would do fine. Well, he hoped he would.

Grimmjow watched the back of the retreating man and ran a hand through his tousled hair. Cold and heartless words that Urahara had spoken to him were ringing through his messed up head as he paced outside the house desperately trying to think of a solution.

He bet that creepy bastard had seen them on the damn Ferris wheel or maybe even earlier than that. Normally he would be able to lie through his teeth but even Aizen had seen his bloodlust return – he wasn't going to get off lightly this time. To make matters worse, what he received Ichigo would get ten times worse.

Grimmjow howled in frustration and walked back towards the house. It was Ichigo's birthday tomorrow as well. No matter what, he would make sure this year would be different . . . even if meant getting out of his life afterwards.


	14. Short-lived

**I can tell you now, you will absolutely hate me for the ending of this chapter – let me say, that's nothing compared to the next chapter! Prepare the tissues ladies and gentlemen!**

* * *

~Chapter 13 – Short-lived~

* * *

Ichigo huffed as the small raven-haired girl clamped him around the middle for a hug before dragging him down the street. It was the 15th of July - a day he would rather forget than remember. The orange haired boy had just wanted to spend the night with Shiro seeing as this was also his special day; it was also his first one since waking up. His friends had other plans however which would mostly consist of heavy club music, bright neon lights and alcohol. All of which he hated. What angered him further was that Shiro had been in on this plan. He knew the albino was worried about him but he could handle himself, just like he had been doing for the past four years. _Last time I looked I wasn't the one in a coma! Or at least recovered from . . ._ His mind mumbled to itself as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Ne, Ichigo?"

"What is it Rukia?" he asked, forcing his mind to shut it for just a minute.

"Are you and Grimmjow alright?"

Ichigo forced his body to keep moving instead of freezing up when she mentioned the sexy blunette. "What makes you say that?" he turned to her, forcing a fake smile on his face.

Rukia shifted uncomfortably where she was, clearly not wanting to spell out the obvious. "Well, you have a cut on your cheek and Grimmjow has a bruise on his jaw, so I assumed . . .,"

Ichigo watched as she trailed off and looked at him awkwardly. "Just say it Rukia," he said, trying not to show the frustration that laced his voice - he hated it when people would beat around the bush.

"Did you two have a fight?" she blurted.

Ichigo looked over at the blunette who was a couple of paces in front of them, casually chatting with Renji about something. In all honesty he wasn't sure what to call it – He had certainly not caused that bruise; that he knew for sure but Grimmjow had certainly caused the cut on his cheek. He wasn't even as angry as he made out to be about it, he was more shocked than anything else.

That look in Grimmjow's eyes when he tried to kiss him was the not the look he had come to love; something was troubling the blunette in a big way. Maybe that was what caused him to act differently. He wasn't drunk or on drugs – Ichigo would have seen the symptoms and his breath didn't stink of any alcohol nor were his words slurred. Ichigo turned back to Rukia who was now looking at him with what seemed to be like pity? "We're fine," he mumbled.

If Grimmjow didn't want him to know his problem then that was fine. He obviously just needed time. "Okay Ichigo, but you know you won't resolve anything if you two don't talk," she replied, clearly not satisfied with her friends answer.

She had seen her friend a mess for four years and she wasn't going to let him go back to that. She wasn't as stupid as she made out to be.

"You're too clever for your own good sometimes," he chuckled.

Rukia smiled and tugged him closer making him walk faster. "What's the rush?" he laughed, as she practically ran down the street with him.

"Talk now before you both get drunk."

Ichigo's eyes widened and tried pulling free from her grip; he didn't want to pressurise Grimm so soon. "It's fine you don't have to delve too deep," she said, rolling her eyes – without a doubt she understood the situation more than he did himself.

"What? So you're going to force us to talk to each-other in the middle of a street?" he pouted, thinking that she hadn't thought this through at all.

"Don't be silly – You can talk in that alleyway," she said, pointing at the narrow passage way to the side of them.

"That's going to make us look dodgy!" he protested. "It even looks dodgy I mean, the walls are scraped and . . . is that blood!"

"Probably just animal blood, you pansy,"

Ichigo wrinkled his nose at the rather large patch of dried up gore and glared at Rukia. "Not exactly romantic is it?"

"When in love it doesn't matter," she argued. "Now go get him!"

Ichigo sighed and started walking towards the tall blunette, his heart pumping faster as the feeling of butterflies grew in his stomach. He wanted to know. He wanted to know all his troubles if only to kiss them away and console him just like he had done for him when he was a mess. Before he knew it he was running towards him, craving to be touched and seen by him again. He reached out and grabbed a fistful of his chequered shirt forcing the man to stop dead in his tracks. Anxiously, he watched as Grimmjow turned around and stared at the berry who was panting slightly from running. "What's wrong with you?" the red-head next to him asked, his usual smirk on his face.

Ichigo ignored Renji and stared directly into azure eyes that seemed to be waiting expectantly for him to do something. "I need to talk to you," he managed to say before dragging him off to the secluded space in between the buildings.

He could faintly hear the sound of Rukia telling Renji some cover up story as he moved into the alleyway, Grimmjow close behind before spinning around and facing him. He wasn't at all surprised when Grimmjow made the first move to speak. "Ichi, I'm so sorry. I never mea-,"

Ichigo rushed forward standing on tiptoes to capture the blunette's lips in a passionate kiss stunning him into silence. Grimmjow relaxed into the kiss, pushing him up against the wall as he moved his tongue in between the seam of his lips asking for entrance. Ichigo wound his arms around his thick neck as he granted the blunette permission; god he had missed this. His soft full lips against his, his tongue massaging every inch of his dark cavern were glorious. He loved playing with his blue strands at the back of his head as Grimmjows hands roamed his body searching for every curve. He groaned low in his throat as he moved his thigh in between his crotch spreading his legs. He almost whined at the loss as Grimmjow pulled away gazing into his eyes intensely. "I am sorry," he whispered, lust filling his voice no matter how hard he tried not to. "I love you . . .,"

Ichigo felt his heart swell to double the size and opened his mouth to reply before a curt screech interrupted them. "I see you two! You've made up now let's go!"

The couple glared at Renji who was standing at the entrance of the alley-way glaring down at them – he clearly wanted to get pissed at soon as possible. Ichigo sighed and kissed the blunette quickly again before linking their hands and following the other down the road. "I'll say it one day without interruptions - don't worry," he whispered into Grimmjow's ear before smiling and dragging him along.

Grimmjow grinned back at him and watched as he practically skipped to the door with neon lights above it. Ichigo turned around and gestured for the others to come quickly, a fake smile gracing his lips. Why fake? Because as he looked back at Grimmjow he could tell something was still upsetting him as well as the horrible feeling that was growing in his gut. Was his all never going to be good enough? He turned to the door and stepped through it ignoring the look that was on his lovers face. It wasn't just him; it was the specific day as well. He pushed away the dark memories and walked through the small club door, his mind set on what he was going to do. _Bring on the alcohol._

**_XXX_**

Grimmjow glanced down at the full glass of whisky and poured it into another glass making sure neither Renji nor that other guy, Kon, were watching. It was never his intention to get pissed tonight for many reasons. Many of those reasons he was regretting already but the only thing that was forcing him to stick to them was Ichigo.

He looked over at the berry who was currently downing another shot, his happy cheer filling the already noisy club. He had no idea what had gotten into him but was betting it was something to do with him! He was overjoyed when Ichigo pulled him over and kissed him like that, forgiving him for the injury he had inflicted on him through his self-induced lust state. But it was that break-taking kiss that had him regretting his plans for later. It was only because they were kissing in the very same spot that he had slaughtered the guy on that was making him regret the decision not stop it. Ironic or what?

They had been here for just over an hour and already his patience level was sky high. He hated seeing his precious Ichigo get so drunk that he couldn't see straight. _Well at least he's not making out with some other stranger. _He hoped his friends didn't plan this every birthday and let him get drunk out of his face – and even his brother was in on this! _Messed up people . . . _

He glanced up as someone put down there drink on his table and smiled slightly when he saw it was only Ichigo. He watched, a little surprised, as he sat down on his lap, his mouth immediately going for his neck. "Whatcha doing Ichi?" he asked, resisting the urge to moan as the man nibbled his chin – That was always a sensitive part.

"Ya looked lonely all by ya self," he slurred, his hands wrapping around his neck. "So I came to entertain you~,"

God that last part made him shiver – _maybe drunken Ichigo wasn't so bad after all_. "So what's up with this bruise?" he asked, his teeth ghosting over his jaw where the purple splotch lay.

_Scratch that. _"It's nothing," he said, twisting his face away so the berry couldn't see it.

Ichigo pouted slightly, his eyes dilated from the alcohol. "Show me!" he shouted over the music, tangling his hands in his hair massaging his scalp.

"I think ya need to go home," he mumbled moving to pick the berry up before he moved over straddling the man's hips.

"Is this bout the scratch? Forget about it Grimmy," he smiled lazily. "If that violence is part of ya then I can handle it,"

He didn't know why but something inside of him just snapped when he mentioned that and before he knew it he was confessing everything to him. Maybe it was because of the fact that Ichigo was drunk so he wouldn't remember anything. "My violence? You would handle my _bloodlust _even if one day it could get ya killed!?"

"What ya on 'bout? You wouldn't kill me,"

"That's the thing, I don't know!" he shouted in frustration.

Ichigo looked him in the eye seriously worrying Grimmjow slightly. _Crap, he's not sober is he!?_ "Grimmy," he cooed. "I love you - even with all ya rough edges,"

Grimmjow froze taking in Ichigo's drunken ramble that was unfortunately true. He could have left him easily if he had known that he didn't love him as he did. "You just had to say that," he whispered, his head dropping to rest against his lover's shoulders.

"It's true though – I love you," he repeated lowering his voice so only he could hear it.

Grimmjow gulped forcing his eyes not to water as he made his final decision – he had to stop things before they went out of hand. He placed his arms under Ichigo's thighs and lifted him up relieved when he was met with no resistance. He was also thankful that when Rukia spotted them she let them go with a smile on her face. _She wouldn't be smiling if she knew the truth_ he thought as he walked out of the club.

It had been surprisingly easy to get Ichigo home even if he was drunk. He didn't throw up which was good or try to get down; he just simply went to sleep. Although his sweet face wasn't doing much for his decision. It was when they finally got home that he woke. "Where'd everyone go?" he said yawning.

"We're back home," he explained, carefully lowering him onto the bed and tucking him under the covers.

Ichigo pulled the covers over his chin and looked up sleepily at Grimmjow. "Thanks Grimm,"

Grimmjow wrinkled his nose in confusion. "For what?"

"For loving me," he simply stated before falling asleep, his soft snores the only sound in the room as tears finally slid down the blunette's face.

Never once in his life had he cried – not even when his mother had committed suicide because of him and this guy could get him to do it in less than a second.

Grimmjow got up quietly and kissed Ichigo softly on the lips one last time before stumbling over to the door, his tears blurring his eyes as he got on his motorbike. He turned on the ignition, dropping the helmet to the ground as he looked up at Ichigo's window. _Thank you too Ichigo . . . _


	15. Involved in an accident

**Four words – Tissue's at the ready!**

* * *

~Chapter 14 – Involved in an accident~

* * *

_For fuck sake, what is that loud ringing sound!_ Ichigo sat up in his bed and rubbed his temples cursing the headache that felt like a car alarm going on inside his head. He heard the phone going off downstairs but couldn't be bothered to get up and answer it- his head was fucking killing him. He was never one to drink but it was always the 15th that made him drink like an alcoholic. That was why Urahara and Yoruichi always forced him to tag along to their vacation so he wouldn't end up in the street lying in his own vomit. He had been sure it would be different this year because of Grimm but even he couldn't stop it – didn't help that _his_ problems were affecting him as well though.

Ichigo looked outside and sighed angrily; it wasn't even morning yet. His heart clenched tightly as he looked out at the dark sky - something wasn't right. Maybe that was why he woke up? Finally his half-drunken brain caught up with time and he looked around noticing he was still dressed in his clothes. _Grimm must have taken me home _he thought. He smiled at the thought of his soft side and pushed the covers back. "Grimm!" he called out.

He frowned when there was no immediate reply and swung his legs over the edge of the bed trying his best not to throw up all over the floor. He hated hangovers but that's what you get for drinking yourself stupid – he bet he did something ridiculous which was why he was home so early. That still didn't explain Grimmjow's sudden absence. "Grimm!" he called out again, panic starting to edge its way into his voice as he began roaming the house searching for any sign of the blunette.

For some strange reason he felt his heart stop for a second when he walked past the counter and forced himself to stop and look. He looked around at the counter and let out a sigh of relief when he saw that Grimmjow's phone was still there – "So Grimm hasn't abandoned me," he thought.

Then his eyes travelled over to where the motorbike keys should have been and felt his eyes widen. He ran as fast as he could to the front door and opened it, letting the cold air calm his nauseas stomach. He glanced around and froze when his eyes landed on an abandoned biker helmet, it's back ever so slightly cracked from the force of falling.

He forced his feet to move towards it his mind screaming 'no' as he did. He didn't want to find out. Ichigo wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and face this shit in the morning but something wasn't right and he hadn't had that feeling since Tsukishima told him his brother was in a coma.

Slowly, he bent down and retrieved the helmet, feeling a knot in his stomach form when he saw the gothic lettering on it spelling out Grimmjow's name. He looked around but could find no sight of the actual bike and dropped the helmet rushing back inside. _This is not happening – I'm still under the influence of alcohol _his mind chanted over and over as his fingers fumbled for the phone. This was either a joke or a bad dream. He didn't care which one it was he just hoped it was anything but reality. He was just about to dial when the phone vibrated in his hands startling him. He quickly pressed the answer button and held it to his ear expecting to find Grimmjow speaking despite that his phone was still on the counter. He was already in denial. "Grimmjow!" he shouted. "Is tha-,"

"_This is Kurosaki town hospital," _a squeaky voice replied, cutting him off. "_I am afraid to report that at 11:00pm tonight, Grimmjow Jeagerjacques was involved in an accident. . . "_

Ichigo stared straight ahead, his heart pounding in his head. The words were spinning around making him feel dizzy – _was involved in an accident. No. . . no, no, no! _The woman on the other side of the phone was still speaking to him but his brain couldn't process anything more. He glanced at the living room, the very one where his family had been murdered and dropped the phone; it's dull form landing with a loud thud. Everything was tinged with blood red, even his hands, as he tried to get to grips with what was happening. _No, no, no! _He fell to his knees, his whole body shaking vigorously before, for the first time that night, he threw up.

**XXX**

It didn't take long for Ichigo to reach the hospital. After calling Rukia up for a lift they had been going 80 miles an hour even though the hospital was only 5 minutes away – he didn't trust himself walking. As soon as Rukia had pulled up, he opened the door and despite his knees feeling weak he sprinted to the door and straight to the elevator ignoring the angry shouts of the receptionist. He knew that if he waited for them to direct him to Grimmjow it might be too late.

Ichigo shook his head dispelling the thought – he really didn't want to think like that but the knot in his stomach was telling him otherwise. He paced the small space the elevator provided him running a hand through his vibrant locks.

Parts of the last couple of hours were coming back to him sending a knife to his gut each time. If he had been sober none of this would be happening. He jumped in his skin when the elevator door opened but took no time in running out past the patients in his way and straight to Tsukishima's office. He turned the next corner sharply and collided with the very man himself who looked shocked to see him at first. Ichigo clung onto him, staring into his eyes just begging for good news. "Please Tsukishima, please," he cried out. "I c-can't lose him. . . I can't!"

Tsukishima wrapped an arm around the crying man, making soothing noises and ignoring the stares he was getting from his colleagues. They were told never to have an emotional attachment to people involved with patients but he had not seen this man cry shamefully since he first told him his brother was in a coma . . . four years ago! "Please . . . tell me he's alright," he begged.

Tsukishima looked down at him sadly and started walking him towards the intensive care unit – one he had walked down too many times. Ichigo started panicking, his hands beginning to sweat as he walked down the hallway that usually led to Shiro. "No, Tsukishima he can't be" he said, stopping in the middle of the hallway – He didn't want to go any further.

"Ichigo . . . You know better than anyone that denial doesn't stop it from being real,"

"No," he shook his head. "I saw him a few hours ago!"

"Ichi?"

Ichigo whirled around to find his brother staring at him shock evident on his face before a smirk replaced it. "I told ya ta enjoy yourself! Where's Grimmjow I told 'im t-,"

He cut himself off when he saw Tsukishima indicating not to and the look in his brother's eyes. "Ichi? What's wrong!?"

Ichigo ran into his arms and clung onto him, his throat dry from the amount of crying he had done and his stomach threatening to throw up what little content he had left again. "Tsukishima, what's happened?" he muttered darkly, ready to tear open the culprits responsible for making his baby brother like this.

"Grimmjow's been involved in an accident," he stated gravely.

Ichigo shook his head against Shiro's chest still denying the facts as they were presented. "What happened?" Shiro asked, hugging his brother close to him

"Shirosaki – I'm not sure if-,"

"He needs ta hear it," he said cutting him off.

He grabbed Ichigo by the shoulders and gently shook him, forcing him to look into his golden eyes. "Ichi - ya know ya can't help if ya don't know," he whispered.

"Ichigo looked up, tears still streaking down his face. "I'm scared," he whispered back breaking Shiro's heart just looking at him.

"I know – but do this. If not fer me then fer Grimmjow,"

Ichigo hesitated but nodded his head before turning back to the doctor, clenching Shiro's hand tightly in his own. Tsukishima rubbed his head and sighed before continuing. "Earlier on this night, Grimmjow drove into a truck with the force sending him over the bridge and into the water," he started.

"What do you mean he drove?" Ichigo asked immediately.

". . . He did this on purpose,"

Ichigo sucked in a sharp breath and clenched his eyes shut to stop the world from spinning whilst Tsukishima continued. "I'm sorry. The CCTV recorded the whole event. He has a few broken ribs and has direct lung tissue damage due to the water aspirated into the lung but it's minor – they can be fixed easily,"

"Then why is he here?" Ichigo asked numbly, glancing at the sign further ahead that said 'intensive unit'

"I wish I could tell you," he sighed. "There are no signs of brain trauma, swelling or infection. We thought due to the water that it was oxygen deprivation but it's also his heart that just won't stay beating for too long. We've checked for arrhythmias but nothing is adding up. Our psychologist has had a look at the severity of the coma, the brain and the initial accident. We can only come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to live . . . even on a subconscious level,"

That was when Ichigo threw up for the second time that night, Shiro pushing back his orange locks as he heaved up in a bin, blood roaring in his ears. His whole body was shaking and he felt warm all over – he knew he was going to faint but it was through sheer willpower that he wasn't. He let Shiro direct him to a chair as Tsukishima continued telling them the details but he wasn't listening. Everything was stopping around him as he took in the news.

_He tried to kill himself. . . No - he's probably succeeded. _Ichigo let his head fall in his hands as he tried to make sense of the situation; his mind forcing to remember the details of last night. He couldn't have said something that bad at the party, could he? And anyway what could he possibly say that would make a person want to kill them! Shiro watched in agony as his little brother turned into a wreck, his fingers shaking as he tried ripping his hair out obviously trying to piece together what logic was left. "Can I see him?"

Tsukishima looked down at him, concern etched on his face as he looked to Shiro for help. Shiro shrugged completely at a loss and held his brothers hand. "You can . . . but don't get your hopes up," he warned before carrying on down the sterile white corridor.

The albino rubbed Ichigo's hand with his thumb attempting to comfort the young boy who was in absolute turmoil. This whole thing was killing him. Finally after winding corridors, Tsukishima stopped in front of a door, the usual name plate outside that would identify the patient missing. "W-where's his name?" he asked, already fearing the worst.

Tsukishima looked at the Ichigo apologetically and clasped his hands, his head hung in sorrow and guilt. "Ichigo . . . he has no relatives. He has no-one to continue his treatment," he whispered.

"No. . .No, Tsukishima you can't just do that! I will testify for him if I have to!"

"Ichigo you barely know him – the board aren't going to allow treatment for someone who has nobody,"

"He has me," he muttered darkly, not willing to accept the fact that snobby elders wanted to end his life.

"Ichigo listen!" he nearly shouted. "He wanted to end his life and his 'weird' condition is surely proof of that - He doesn't want saving!"

Ichigo reeled back as if having been slapped in the face – He knew that Grimmjow wanted to be dead right now but if he could find out why then he was sure he could solve it. Still, he wasn't ready to accept the fact that the strong-willed and stubborn blunette wanted to end his life. "I'm sorry Ichigo," he apologised, his voice now a lower register.

"How long?"

"A month, maybe less,"

"Maybe I can find a relative in that time," he rambled. "Maybe he has a long lost brother or something and I can convince them to continue his treatment!"

Shiro watched as Ichigo began panicking, his eyes forcing themselves not to look through the small window in the door where you could see a limp body. "Ichigo . . . His parents are both dead and even if you did find a lost relative – considering his history do you think they would really want to help; even more so when they find out about his condition!"

"Please," he whispered the fight in his eyes now nothing but a small spark as he ignored the 'history' part. "There has to be something,"

"You know that if there was I would tell you," he replied gravely.

Nodding, Ichigo collapsed on the chair next to the door ignoring the worried looks both the doctor and his brother were giving him. Was that it then? No testimony to the board, no fight at all just acceptance. How could he just sit here and day by day watch as Grimmjow's brain tried to stop his heart? How could he stand by his side every single day only knowing that eventually they would cut him off anyway? So many questions were running through his head, trying to make sense of the situation but it was just resulting in a headache and heartbreak. "Would you like to go in and see him?"

Shiro glanced, unsure, at the doctor who was suggesting something so soon but deep down he knew that if Ichigo didn't do this it would just make it worse after there was nothing left to visit. And after all – Ichigo did ask first. Ichigo glanced through the window, his breath hitching when he saw the blue strands dirtied and plastered to a pale face – tubes coming out everywhere. "I'll leave you alone – you know where my office is if you want to come by later," he reassured him, grasping Shiro by the arm before he left. "Look after him,"

Normally Shiro would bite his head off for saying that because of course he would look after his baby brother but as he looked at his state all he could was nod; he wasn't sure he could save him this time. As soon as Tsukishima departed, Ichigo exhaled nosily and rested his head against the cool door. "What do I say to him?" he asked the albino, his eyes clenched tightly together trying to block out the sight of the hospital around him.

"Say what ta whom?"

"To Grimmjow,"

Shiro stayed silent not sure what to say so settled for nothing as Ichigo continued. "He could be like you . . . Maybe he can hear everything, maybe even feel," he said, trying not to choke on every word.

"But what if he can't -,"

"But what if he can," he argued, turning to face him. "I don't want to hold his hand, run my fingers through his hair or kiss him without him knowing who I am, that I want him to wake up and that . . . I love him. I'd rather these feelings met a brick wall than not say them at all in fear that he can hear and feel everything and I just leave him in a cold and silent room alone wishing his death even more!" he spat, fists clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"Ichi," he replied softly. "As long as ya know ta consequences . . .,"

"You mean do I know that even if he does hear me, he'll die anyway?"

"If he can hear ya maybe ya can stop that,"

"And if I can't?"

". . . If it comes ta that, we'll find a way past it – until that time just let 'im know how much ya love 'im," he whispered in his ear as he pulled him in for an embrace.

"And if it's not enough?" he whispered back.

" . . . Then at least ya tried," he responded before giving him a slight push in the general direction of the door that led to the blue-haired man himself.

Taking a deep breath Ichigo pushed open the door and stepped into the white sterile room, the heavy smell of disinfectant burning his nose as the noise of machines rampaged against his ears.

His breathing hindered as he laid eyes upon the pale blunette, his strong frame covered under bloodied linen sheets and plastic tubes. If he could he would have cried at the sight but he could no longer shed any tears so instead settled for a small sob as he made his way towards him.

Gently, he took his hand in his and traced small patterns with his thumbs as he stared down at his inanimate face. "Hey Grimm," he whispered softly. "I'm not really sure what to say. . . You'd think after talking to Shiro for so many years you'd figured I'd have at least something – then again you kind of just sprung this on me," he rambled, chuckling slightly at his own distressed state. "Shiro's going to kill you, you know when you wake up – he'll probably go on about how you should have known better but just ignore him; I normally do,"

He stared down, waiting for some sort of response and laughed when he remembered the man was in a coma but continued none the less just in case he could hear. "You didn't have to do it, you know," he started. "I wasn't joking when I said that I didn't care if you hurt me," he spoke softly, finally remembering everything that happened a few hours ago. "I could have been your personal punch bag – I would have done anything to stop you from doing this!" he said gesturing to the tubes sticking out of his flawless skin. "I'd give anything to be in this bed instead of you – anything that would have saved you because . . . I love you," he said, tears eventually rolling down his cheeks.

"It's sad isn't it? You tell me you love me twice both during romantic times and here I am finally confessing my love and I don't even know if you'll live let alone hear this! Grimm – there must have been another way," he said, letting his head drop against his lifeless hand. "You could have told me anything – I don't care about your history, about your present . . . all I ask is that I'm with you for the future. You're not alone. No matter what they told you you're not alone – I'll be right beside you forevermore,"

He gripped his hand tightly and closed his eyes, the reality that he might lose the one he had finally come to love suddenly dawning on him. "I will not grieve for you!" he shouted. "If you die then there's room inside for two. You either follow me or I follow you so wake up you jerk!"

He rested his head down against the blunette's arm and fell asleep to the sound of machines keeping his lover alive, tears slowly drying on his tanned face. He stayed there the whole night, no-one daring to wake him afraid to welcome him back to the cruel chaos that was reality. Instead they let him stay whilst beside him, Grimmjow travelled through his memories, the decision of life or death pondering on his mind.


End file.
